lostandconfused
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 66 views | 0 comments
The Dark side of my soul: The realisation hits i am not perfect. I always thought extremely highly of myself and more recently am having a tough time dealing with my short comings. Till the time i thought i did the right thing i had respect for myself and the from moment i have been unsure about my actions i have lost that pedestal i put myself on. This guilt and shame i am trying to deal with has not only dented my confidence but made my life sad and miserable. I try to reconcile the implicit choice i have made by reading aloud arguements in my head like 'this way she will face lesser pain' or 'its not really your fault' or 'this is the most sensible decision given the situation'. Fact is i dont know jacks$%t. How am i to know how her life would be with or without me? Am i really gonna be able to have the strength she needs in a life partner? will i be happy with her? will my family be happy with her and most importantly something which i really doubt will she be happy with my family? I wish i had the wisdom or the experience to make observations like in everyman's life... so on and so forth but i dont.. i dont know if every1 goes through the same dilemma's as me.. all the confusion around my love life has contributed to my general state of being confused and unsure of myself.. something which is clear making me extremely unhappy.. the fact that i am all by myself in this place doesnt help either. I have no warmth, no compassion from anyone.. i need someone to love and dote on ..i need to be loved and cared for.. My career successes seem so trivial now.. its human beings and relationships where i want to succeed.. i need help..
No comments yet. Be first!