That makes sense now. The part I didn't understand was the part you just explained - that this is your way of honoring his wife's wishes for their marriage. I believe male and females can be friends, but the marriage partner must always come first regardless of how close the friendship is. You see, with you in the picture, the marriage was suffering and that could have led to more suffering and possibly even a failed marriage, then she, he, and yourself would have been hurt and suffering. Now with you out of the picture ( which I commend you on, it shows you trully do LOVE him ) the marriage has a better chance of succeding since you are not a perceived threat to her any longer. You obviously are in pain, but you will find someone to build a life with too and you will understand that in life we must choose. Some of those choices are really tough, but there is no getting around them. In your case, I'm sorry you have lost, I know what that's like, it hurts just as much as any other significant loss, but he owed his loyalties to the woman he said YES to for better or worse. I wish you well. Good luck.

if i was talking about a girl in the same way, no-one would think it was an issue. neither he or i saw anything at all romantic about our being friends. other people seem to have an issue with the male/ female friend thing which is why his wife had a problem. honestly, i love the guy like you love your best friend and brother combined. he is someone i connected with and that's all. it's because i respect his vows to his wife and his commitment to his family that i'm losing him. the only reason i put this here is because i needed to say good bye and i can't even talk to him anymore because his wife gets upset and i would never ask him to lie to her about talking to me. sheesh. what part of this isn't anyone understanding... ?

Still, his affection and emotional involvement as his wife's by right. He is cheating and being unfaithful even if sex is not involved. You need to find your own someone to be there for you, not a married person who has taken vows and made promises and commitments to someone. He is not yours to cry to. I recommend you back-off..it seems to me that you are a problem in their marriage. If it were me, I would do everything in my power to get you the hell out of our life, nothing good could come of it. It's the truth girl. You are in the wrong on this one and your emotions will continue distorting your thinking so long as you stick to your abnormal desire for him to be yours.

at no point did i ever sleep with him. nor would i ever consider doing so. our relationship had nothing to do with sex. i love him, and if i needed someone to hug me while i cried, it would be him. but it's never been about sex and frankly sex would spoil everything about the friendship.

You must not engage with a man who is already married.

you love him...in every way.