I met someone who is incredibly attractive, and has a simple innocence about them. Although they were not attracted to me, I used every method of manipulation at my disposal to outwit them and convince them that we should be together. That person engulfed themselves in drugs and alcohol and constantly cheated on me, trying to leave me several times saying they didn't want to hurt me again. Each time I fought back with guilt and anguish, even threats of suicide. They always came back and after 5 years, we eventually we found ourselves seemingly in love with eachother. A year of abstinence from drugs, alcohol, and cheating brought us what seemed like a real relationship. I proposed marriage and they accepted. We went traveling for a few weeks in late Summer around Europe where I agreed drinking and drugs woudl be ok in moderation. It resulted in a drunken argument one night where I was told that they were never really in love with me. We came back and spent the fall in pergatory where they cheated on me constantly and found epiphanies while talking to strangers at bars. After the charade with our famiilies during Christmas, they attempted to come around again. I stopped and made the hardest decission of my life. I bought them a plane ticket back to their home and unknowlingly drove them to the airport. I painfully sent them back in the hopes of undoing all the self depricating and manipulative acts of our past and finally giving them an opportunity to leave me. After a month, they called and told me they'd made their decission. their words to me were that they wanted to come back to me and knew undoubtedly that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me. they wanted to raise childres and cry sweet tears of laughter with me as we grew old together. I took them back and built a new soul with which to trust and hope and love. We were married last a year later during which time we agreed it would be ok to drink at our wedding. 6 months after the honeymoon, we did ecstacy at our best friends birthday party. Now, three months later, we did it again at my husbands birthday party only to learn that during the last time we did it along with special K and alcohol, he had what he calls a moment of clarity where he realized he did not actually love me, but rather that he was in love with our best friend. My life has reached an unthinkable point of depair - is it his fault for showing the ultimate betrayal after being given a way out? or is it a fair punishment to me for having manipulated his understanding of love over the years? Either way, now that we're married, should we call the whole thing a sham or rather fight for our future together and to find the happiness we had without mind-altering substances?