CONFESSIONS Confess or Digress

When was the last time you confessed

AND EVERYONE HEARD?

You cannot silence the TRUTH!!!

Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 342 views | 31 comments

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    there are all kinds of circumstances which can invalidate one

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    circumstances which can

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    there are all kinds of extenuating

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    invalidate one, and given their fucked up marriage there are bound to be half a dozen such. She does have basically unlimited resources to fight it, though. And,its going to be an uphill battle, my brother is absolutely terrified of standing up to her at all, I would guess that divorce for him seems unthinkable. And I cant blame him. He has no experience of living on his own, or supporting himself, nor does he have the capacity to, in my opinion. Feel free to contact me if you like, at the e-mail below a few comments down.

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    unlimited resources to fight it, though. And,its going to be an uphill battle, my brother is absolutely terrified of standing up to her at all, I would guess that divorce for him seems unthinkable. And I cant blame him. He has no experience of living on his own, or supporting himself, nor does he have the capacity to, in my opinion. Feel free to contact me if you like, at the e-mail below a few comments down.

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    invalidate one, and given their fucked up marriage there are bound to be half a dozen such. She does have basically

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    (This was rejected by the server the first time, I tried again on a whim, obviously it worked.) Im truly sorry to hear about what happened in your own childhood. I think it speaks highly of you that you reached out to me, a perpetrator, in a thoughtful and civil manner, even if you primary intent is to help my brother. I agree 100%, I do need to be begging his forgiveness for the rest of my life. Of course I recognize that what I did was wrong now, but not when it mattered most. Should I have known better when I was in my mid teens? I think so, especially when I am in a self recriminating mood. My therapist does not. Actually a lot of what we work through in therapy is ways that I can see myself in a more forgiving light. So please dont take this as me making excuses for myself, this mostly comes from my therapist. Im just trying to live with this, by seeing it in as objective light as possible. For one, I actually didnt know this, but our brain isnt fully developed until we are in our mid twenties. And that late development all occurs in the forebrain, which is very strongly implicated in moral reasoning. A lot of early morality is in fact conditioning to negative feedback. I didnt get much in the way of that, not from my peers (I always seemed to be popular and very respected in school, despite my bossy tendencies, I always wanted to be the leader at everything, and I was able to) And certainly I did not get negative feedback from my mother. She was the authority figure in my life, and not only did she not punish what I was doing, she actively condoned and fostered a lot of it. And this was all that I knew, ever since I can remember I was aware of the favoritism, though it became more intense later. So in that perspective what I did was predictable. Another thing. Emotions can be so incredibly intense when we are young. It is just impossible to describe how it made me feel to be favored so strongly. It was so validating, so self affirming, I felt so powerful and so wanted, but that doesnt begin to describe how good it made me feel. Sometimes I wonder if I essentially spent my entire childhood high. Am I a bad person for responding this way? Maybe, the question isnt rhetorical. But I can at least say that I didnt *choose* to respond in that way. My body essentially made that choice for me. And at some point, long before I started acting out the way I did, those feelings spilled over into sexual feelings. I remember very clearly, Christmas when I think I was nine or ten. This was around when the favoritism started really getting intense, when she started making him clean my room and make my bed. That Chrismas morning there was a magnificent pile of presents under the tree, I mean just ridiculously huge, she must have spent 1000s of dollars, and as I was tearing into them I was realizing that they were *all* for me. My brother was watching and crying quietly, and I felt this delirious sensation rush through my body, and I squeezed my thighs together and had what I later realized was the first orgasm of my life. We talked about this for a whole session in therapy, she says that this is part of sibling rivalry, which everyone experiences, it is our genes selfish drive to compete for as many resources as possible. Dopamine is the chemical released when we experience a sense of reward, such as when we win something. My body was basically flodded with dopamine all the time, because I was winning the sibling battle every moment of every day. Dopamine is also very tied to sexual response and orgasm. So what happened to me, and my later strong association to my superior feelings over him and my sexuality, is easily possible. As for your idea about setting up a trust fund for him, it is not a bad one. The thing is, his wife is actually quite rich, so it is possible that is one thing he doesnt have to worry about. I would *very* much like to see him divorce her, I am working hard at this moment to try to make this happen, and to help him to live independantly. And I would hope that he would get enough from her to at least be comfortable the rest of his life. There are some problems, though. I feel certain that she had him sign a prenup. That might not be the end

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    him sign a prenup. That might not be the end,

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    him sign a prenup. That might not be the end of the

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    him sign a prenup. That might not be the

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    sign a prenup. That might not be the end of the world,

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    prenup. That might not be the end of the world,

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    That might not be the end of the world,

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    That might not be the end of the world,

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    the end of the world,

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    That might not be the

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    him sign a prenup.

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    him sign a prenup. That might not be the end of the world,

  • Commented Jun 24, 2014 by anonymous

    (This was rejected by the server the first time, I tried again on a whim, obviously it worked.) Im truly sorry to hear about what happened in your own childhood. I think it speaks highly of you that you reached out to me, a perpetrator, in a thoughtful and civil manner, even if you primary intent is to help my brother. I agree 100%, I do need to be begging his forgiveness for the rest of my life. Of course I recognize that what I did was wrong now, but not when it mattered most. Should I have known better when I was in my mid teens? I think so, especially when I am in a self recriminating mood. My therapist does not. Actually a lot of what we work through in therapy is ways that I can see myself in a more forgiving light. So please dont take this as me making excuses for myself, this mostly comes from my therapist. Im just trying to live with this, by seeing it in as objective light as possible. For one, I actually didnt know this, but our brain isnt fully developed until we are in our mid twenties. And that late development all occurs in the forebrain, which is very strongly implicated in moral reasoning. A lot of early morality is in fact conditioning to negative feedback. I

  • Commented Jun 17, 2014 by anonymous

    no communication with the outside

  • Commented Jun 17, 2014 by anonymous

    outside communicati

  • Commented Jun 17, 2014 by anonymous

    no outside

  • Commented Jun 17, 2014 by anonymous

    no communicaiton.

  • Commented Jun 17, 2014 by anonymous

    he is literally locked in,

  • Commented Jun 17, 2014 by anonymous

    when she leaves the house alone

  • Commented Feb 11, 2013 by anonymous

    “Your wife has a crush on a gay man, doesn't she? ”

    Nice one

  • Commented Nov 22, 2012 by anonymous

    perhaps other than your sexuality, you fit the all above descriptions, congratulations! great autobiography~~~~!!!

  • Commented Nov 22, 2012 by anonymous

    Hey redneck bible thumper, quit staring at my penis!

  • Commented Nov 22, 2012 by anonymous

    Your wife has a crush on a gay man, doesn't she?

  • Commented Nov 22, 2012 by anonymous

    You're obviously gay and in denial. Haha, you want a cock in your ass!!!

  • Commented Nov 22, 2012 by anonymous

    cool story bro

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