Hello. I am 16 years old with Aspberger's syndrome/autism...What I'm about to tell you may come across as weird and embarrassing but here it goes...I had a crush on this girl when we were best friends 12 years ago in Pre-K you know, best friends. After that year, you know, I moved away back to the city where I lived before I moved to that city, you know. She was one of the most accepting people and was a lasting influence even to this day. I never forgot about her one moment in time, even through the darkest moments in life, I'd think about her, you know. 10 years later I find her on Facebook, looking even more charming and beautiful as I had imagined before. Then I found out she got piercings on her belly, and she said she's a Christian? That and the fact that I was jealous she was with someone that in my opinion was a lot better than I am. Athletically fit, ego that reaches the ceiling probably. I was jealous...I told some friends about this, they told me all these things that may or may not have been true about them, so two years later, I finally got sick of it and confronted her online about it...She and what she and he was posting was raising my blood pressure and making me more stressed out. Because of autism and such, I have hard time with feelings and such you know, but I don't really like using that as an excuse. I confronted her about it, and this was the copy of my FB message to her. I had never seen her in person since 2001. Me: I have a bone to pick with you, and there are a few reasons why. First of all, being that you got a body piercing, I mean, who gets a body piercing at 14 years old? Who? It's ridiculous, because in my opinion its disrespect to your body, and that and tattoos are against God's word in the Bible. Why you would even think about that kind of bull crap? To make you look cool? Dude, after you graduate or drop out, being cool is not going to matter anymore, people are going to look at you like you're weird. Body piercings are not a€?cool and amazinga€?, they are for people who are pathetically desperate for attention, and people who are trying to be a€?coola€?. Don't give me that bull crap that a€?Oh, those people on Jersey Shore do that, they do this,a€? so you wonder why some of those people have been arrested? a€?Yeah, but their fun to watch while their ruining their lives.a€? To be quite honest, Jersey Shore and its ideas make me want to puke, I'm sorry. Second of all, I think you're going out with someone who is well, undescribable. Do you ever read what is on his twitter account? Through the past couple of years, I've noticed that he made a€?good Christian comments relating to Goda€? on Facebook, getting people to think he's the nicest guy, but if you read his twitter tweet log, he wrote stuff about drinking alcohol, and one or two sex jokes? Really? Why would you go out with somebody who is possibly drinking illegally!? That's weak...Reminds me of the path my brother went down, he drank a lot and partied a lot. You know what happened to him? He committed suicide in 2004 and died at the age of 24, 4 days before my 9th birthday. Yeah, ouch! Why you would choose to go out with someone that's 3 years older than you still in teen years even, and an alcoholic, goes WAY beyond my comprehension. Well, I'm fixing to take you off my friend's list, but before I do so, I have been holding some things back I meant to tell you long ago. First off, I had a crush on you for the past couple of years, and possibly before that, cause you're pretty and seemed to have a pretty good personality, and you taught me some good social skills last time I saw you (lol), but as I've seen more of your Facebook posts recently, you've turned into someone who's pretty much out of control, and lost. I feel very sorry for you. Back when I added you on my Facebook, I had to almost completely changed who I was, to try to please you and try to become friends again in real life. I really really wanted that, and at the time would do anything and everything to get it. I would've helped you and gave you advice if you needed it. Why? Cause I'm a nice gentlemen. Every time I saw something of yours on Facebook, and every time I generally think about you, I get very very stressed out. Blood pressure runs high, it makes my day horrible. No more. At least I have respect for my body, I'm straightedge (No drugs, no alcohol), I'm a clean person with no diseases, except Autism/Aspberger's (not hereditary and its really a disability) and I don't try to be cool much for other people, like I used to...I talked to a counselor about you last year, he said to let it go, my friends say let it go, so I'm letting it go. In no means was this message to harass you or anything really, I just feel like I needed to get this off my chest. Do NOT tell me I am being pathetic, because in all honesty, you need to look at yourself in the mirror, and if you don't think what you are now is bothering you, you obviously need to have your head checked at the psycho ward...Seriously...Come on...You're better than this. A LOT better than this...Wow... I wish you nothing but the best in the future, but I have a life I'm going to make something out of. WOOOOOHHH YEAAAHHHH!! Her reply: Please do not ever talk to me again. That message was unnecessary and very disrespectful. I appreciate your prayers. But I don't need a pity party. I'm happy with my life, and most certainly my boyfriend. You do not know me well enough to where you have the right to talk to me the way you did. I have not spoken to or seen you in years. About my belly button piercing, you're absolutely right, the bible says do not pierce your body. But if you're going to out me, you may as well out everyone. You know others with any type of piercings just as well as you know me. I could care less about being "cool". I chose to get it done because I wanted it for myself. It's an opinion and I don't need anyone telling me what they think. About my boyfriend, you don't know me so you definitely don't know him. He's a good guy and he treats me great. He's human just like you & I. I don't have twitter nor is it my place to judge him or anyone else's posts. And "illegally drinking" may be wrong but what average teenager doesn't. But I'm sincerely sorry to hear about your brother. Age is just a number. He's 2.5 years older than me. And he's most certainly not an alcoholic? Your comprehension must be way beyond my thinking because you act like people who have a 2-3 year age difference can't be just as happy as someone with a 1 year difference. I'm happier with him than I can imagine. I'm offended by your message, and it was in my opinion harassment. I am not out of control nor lost. I'm happy and content with my life and who I am. I make my parents proud, and I am going to be successful. I need to look in the mirror and go to a psycho ward? Seriously? That's dramatic and sounds insane. Thank you for your best wishes and best wishes to you also. You live your life, and I will live mine. I had no problem with your generosity or kindness until now. I don't meant to hurt your feelings but please do not contact me again. I spent weeks thinking about these events...I did my best to apologize through this response: You know what, you're 1000% right...I had no real right to do that...I know, you live your live, and I live mine, but before I leave, and I said on my other profile I was leaving FB for a long time to come...I want to apologize...I was upset over something that wasn't really, I dunno...but whatever I said, I'm sorry...It cost me a friendship...I knew this day would happen...I apologize...*tears up* I know, you won't forgive me, I went too far, but I want to tell you again I'm sorry...I was wrong, I really was...I don't know how else to describe it...I predicted and was off by a long shot...Took things too far...I'm asking God to forgive...I'm asking you to forgive, but I know that will never ever happen ever...That message you replied back with, it was professional, I mean I was shocked and actually afraid and shaking, but you kept it rather than really, blowing up and cussing me out...I respect you for that...Thanks, and again I'm sorry...I agree I went to far with this crap...Big fat reality check...I'm out of here, thanks and Goodbye. PS I'm not mad at you...I'm mad at myself, and once again I blamed it on a friend and lost it...It's something I've tried to get counseling for..for years...it's an autistic thing I believe, but I don't want to use that as an excuse...You gave me that reality check, I appreciate it...makes me appreciate things a lot more, ya know? She then blocked me mere hours later...Like I became a foe in such quick time...I believe by posting this confession, that I am well, taking a big risk doing this because I don't want to get sued to court for harassment or anything of that nature. I don't want to make her mad anymore than I have. I believe I have learned from my mistake. What I have done is indeed a problem American society faces today, not accepting others and not banding together. A dysfunctional union full of political correctness. I want to stand up to that, after this experience I learned the hard way by thinking for weeks...It drove me crazy enough I had to leave and take a vacation out of state it was driving me so crazy...I want to say I'm sorry for lying to people all these years, and I'm sorry for being a bully and thinking that I'm always politically correct, and thinking I was the best at everything. After all, her boyfriend can actually play on the field in a game of rec softball, while I'm stuck on the bench for the whole season on my team. I know that there is no room for forgiveness, but you know what? I've learned the hard way from this experience, and it has made me a better person for the better. I want to ask for second chance, but the way this ended, I don't think that'll EVER happen, not even in another 10 or 20 years, but for now, I must become a spokesperson and stand up and promote the right messages, political correctness and arguing over small details cannot work any longer, it's driving the country downwards. If everyone could get along, our country would be out of its deficit by now. Even though I don't like the piercings and was jealous, doesn't mean I have to hate her as a person. Those "friends", they turned their back on me when they did a prank call to the FBI pinning their prior calls on me. That's how much they were "friends" turns out... While I was affiliated with them, I was beginning to lose everything. My reputation, my friends in real life... Even though people fed me propaganda that was probably FALSE, I'm choosing to take 100% blame. Especially the mirrored psycho ward part, that was pretty bad. lol. In that message, I brought the deepest message one could ever write, it probably broke Poe and Shakespeare's record. I feel like even though I feel cheated out of all this time I wasted with these people, there is no excuse for an action like this. I want to say I'm sorry, and please forgive me. :) Another reason I wrote the message was because with the whole alcohol thing I thought she and her bf were at risk of going through the same thing my brother did, who got in trouble with the law and eventually committed suicide back in 2004. I wrote this message while my other brother was going through treatment earlier this year, because he got in trouble recently for general drinking related crimes, and he was going through treatment at the time (Thankfully he was able to turn it around.). All I did was trying to help, and it looks like I blew the house of cards down like the big bad wolf in three little pigs, but you know, I'm sorry for it. I wrote this message to you because if anything were to happen to her bf, I didn't want to see her in a really depressed psychological state. I felt like I had to write this here because every single day forward I was able to live my life perfectly until 3 nights ago, when I started having dreams. The first one was with a wedding happening, and I was the ring bearer roped to a chair with my mouth taped over with that grey tape The second one was one that we met and finally talked for the first time in person in over a decade and talked about that message and what happened. The third night, we went out on some sort of date or something of that nature, all was forgiven and forgotten. I literally had a really strange feeling when I got up out of bed...I was crying over it for a little while at once, because it caused a lot of anxiety...Everytime I wanted to talk to her online, it caused a lot of anxiety, I get nervous every time because well, I want to be friends with her, but you know every time I speak to someone new, I usually get the fear that I wouldn't be accepted, it's happened many times before with people. After today's dream, which thankfully wasn't about her (For those wondering, it was about shutting down the local Wal-Mart for it's wrongdoings), I woke up in anxiety and depression just in time for the day to get started. I care about her as a friend, she may not with me any longer or right now or forever more, but regardless, she was considered my first best friend and taught me how to accept others, so even if we hate each other, if she were to have any problems she wanted to talk about, I'd always be there. Always. I know some of that message was indeed disrespectful, but I want her to know, that I'm sincerely sorry to the max, I will not do it again. Hell because she sent me a reality check, I worked my butt off and lost 30 pounds and worked my reputation back up. So, what do you think guys and gals? How can I make things better?