Want To But I Can't
Posted Jun 3, 2012 by anonymous | 394 views | 1 comments
I broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years 8 months ago, mostly because he had treated me badly for a period of 3 months because I had lied to him about something in order to protect him, and I finally realized I no longer deserved it. Since that time I have felt very good about my decision and known it was the right choice. Now, after being away all year at school and home for the summer again with my ex, I have started spending time with him, because we are trying to still be in each others lives. At first I could feel a difference in how I felt about him and that I no longer loved him as I used to, and thought that I had finally moved on. However, after a series of a few events, I find myself really wanting to be with him. But everyone that I care about in my life dislikes him, my best friends from both school and home, as well as my family. I want to be with him again, but I am afraid that everyone in my life will hate me for it. And I am afraid that, although it is what I want now because I am home for the summer, this is not what I will want once I return to school, and I cannot imagine going through a break up with him again. I am also afraid that he has not changed as he said he has, and that I will get my heart broken again. I know that I am leading him on right now and holding him back, I feel like a horrible person. But I do not know what to do. I want to be with him again so badly, I cry all the time about it. I miss him so much. But I can't be with him again.
Commented Jun 4, 2012 by anonymous
Try to have a face to face chat that you want be have the relationship again that was before & see what he says.