I as a male teenager when I was around 13 , I slept over at my friends house who is like a cousin to my family. Well this night, I decided to sleep downstairs in the basement with his brother so I could read all their old playboy magazines and go through all the pictures together away from his mother. Well I fell asleep then turned over on my other side to catch more sleep and rearrange my sleeping bag, and when I opened my eyes for a moment I saw the brother of my friend had his sleeping bag down and was jerking off his 10 inch Circumcized cock vigorously iright in front of my eyes . I believe he asked me what I think and if I want to grab it and I said no. I being straight all my life never thought anything of it and went right to sleep. The next day I forgot all about it and then about 3 months later something in my brain made me remember the experience vividly. Many times over the years I have seen him at family functions but I act like nothing ever happened and never talked to him about it or confronted him so I think he is embarrassed but he thinks I don't remember. I did find out later that he is Fully gay but not until I was around 23 and he was 26. I found this repulsive. I have trouble with 2 guys being together. I find it gross. Now here is what is weird, I have had visions of that big hefty dick at certain times over the last 40 years of my life. Now I have never had a gay experience and do not think I'm gay Because I have only been with girls and lived with and enjoy pussy, but I feel that incident damaged me because I think of and get excited looking at big dicks and watching them masterbate and shoot cum. I believe I never would have thought about this now had that abuse never have taken place. What are your thoughts? Any advice on what to do? I do not want any part of gayness.