typical me
Posted Mar 2, 2011 by anonymous | 126 views | 0 comments
tYPICAL THINGS i HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE. DEMANDED MY GIRLFRIEND HAVE AN ABORTION, KNOCKED UP SOMEONE I WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH AND WATCHED HER TELL HER HUSBAND THAT IT WAS HIS, SCREWED MY GIRLFRIENDS MOM (WHO IS MARRIED), SCREWED MY AUNT AND MY COUSIN (NOT AT THE SAME TIME), SCREWED A HIGH SCHOOL GIRL WHEN I WAS 33, SCREWED 3 DIFFRENT GIRLS IN ONE DAY (MY GIRLFRIEND, HER MOM AND MY NEW GIRLFRIEND) ALL WITHOUT TAKING A SHOWER IN BETWEEN, DONE MORE DRUGS THAN I CAN COUNT, DONE A DRIVE BY SHOOTING AT A JUKE JOINT, BROKEN INTO CARS, STOLEN FROM MOST EVERY JOB I HAVE EVER WORKED AT, CHEATED MY WAY THROUGH COLLEGE, ETC ETC ETC AND THE FUNNY THING TO ME IS THAT I SEE MYSELF AS A TOTAL FUCK-UP YET I SEEM TO BE THE MOST RESPECTED PERSON THAT I KNOW. I KNOW THE MAYOR AND THE DA OF MY CITY AS WELL AS OTHER HIGH RANKING OFFICIALS (LOCALLY) AND THEY ALL THINK THE WORLD OF ME. OH YEAH, I SCREWED MY BEST FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND TOO, ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE. I AM SUCH A BASTARD BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE. IT'S STRANGE BEING ME SOMETIMES
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