The Monster in the Mirror
Posted Feb 17, 2014 by anonymous | 356 views | 7 comments
I'm a 14 year old girl I'm about 5'1 and I'm about 120 lbs. When I look in the mirror I see someone I hate. I'd love to take an eraser and just erase every single imperfection, blemish, and impurity. I just can't compare. I live in a house with three other people, my mom, step dad, and half sister, and they are all perfectly thin. My mom is thin, my step dad is muscular, and my sister is a mix between the two. She's skinny, I call her bony, but she has abs and hard biceps. Even though she's seven years old she calls me fat. My dad is fat, and unfortunately I resemble him way more than my mother. When I look in the mirror I cry and call myself a fat ugly monster. My hair is a constant mess, my face is covered in dark spots because of pimples I couldn't stand to have on my face so I scratched the skin off, and I have a huge nose. My entire freshman year I haven't taken a single class photo. l hide behind other people or go to the bathroom. I threw away my school ID because my photo is hideous. Every photo of me on instagram is a head shot that has been digitally altered. I am constantly reminded of how ugly I am because I go to an all girls school and I sit with the prettiest girl in the whole school at lunch. She's a ballerina, so she's extra thin, she has perfect hair, it can be curly or straight, she's tall but not too tall, and she has perfect skin. My mom also reminds me how horrid I look. Every time she gets angry at me she always ends up lecturing me about my appearance. Today she got so angry that she asked me,"What do you see when you look in the mirror?" I didn't have the courage to tell her the truth, so I just told her, "nobody.' Now that I think about it, I'd rather see nobody in the mirror more than my own reflection. Everywhere I look I see someone with prettier eyes, a smaller nose, smoother skin, a smaller waist, smaller feet, longer hair, and a prettier face. I'm constantly reminded of the dark spots on my face, my fat stomach. my wild hair, my big feet, my two broken pinky toe nails, my chewed finger nails, my thin lips, my big nose, and my hideous face. When I stand in front of the mirror a list of my imperfections pops into my head. Everyday, I find something new to hate about myself.
Commented Feb 20, 2014 by anonymous
Lots of great advice on here. Any comments from the poster of this confession? What do you think about all of this?
Commented Feb 18, 2014 by anonymous
then fix yourself... instead of being down on yourself do something about it. if you think your fat than work out. if you think your hair is gross get good conditioner and a straightener.. buy good foundation and take the time to do some makeup... its 2014 things out there nowadays can make anything and everyone look good . only you can change anything.
Commented Feb 18, 2014 by anonymous
Take a consultancy service to get out of this kind of situation.
Commented Feb 18, 2014 by anonymous
I know what you mean. I used to feel the same way. I stopped looking. for years I didn't look into the mirror to see the monster. when I did, tears came to my eyes. what helped me? First of all, stop saying such things about yourself. Focus on negative and there is not a person in life that couldn't find something new wrong about them. its the same if you look for the good stuff. focus on that. I promise you it gets better. Big secret, at 14, just about everyone feels the same. they just wont ever tell you. I could talk for an hour. I will only say, keep negative thoughts out of your head, focus on looking for positive, try to kep your mind off of you by doing a hobby or something and above all know that this time will pass. I promise. it wont be next week but in time it will fade away. I feel for you so much. I wish I could say more.
Commented Feb 17, 2014 by anonymous
In time you will see yourself for the beautiful person inside and out, don't give up on that.
Commented Feb 17, 2014 by anonymous
then change your self for the better... it won't be easy at first and may take some time but if you're motivated then you can definitely become more in love with yourself... maybe you van talk with a counselor and found ways to motivate yourself cause you shouldn't feel that you're looking at a monster the mirror.... I use to feel that way when I was younger, i was always the biggest of family and friends that were my age and hated myself in more ways then one but now in my 20s I've grown to love myself and all my flaws and imperfections but learned and worked at bettering myself. you have spots in your face from acne? there are products that help get rid of that...your a lil over weight? go on walks, do small work outs nothing big your just starting out, maybe if you don't already then eat healthier not meaning a diet per say but little things like drink more water, don't eat late at night, small portions stuff like that.... your nose to big you say? sweety I have a big nose too lol but sometimes you just gotta love your body parts sometimes I poke fun at myself and make myself laugh. don't feel so negatively about yourself...
Commented Feb 17, 2014 by anonymous
I think you're beautiful... being imperfect is beautiful. ????