when i was in highschool i dated this guy who i ended up falling in love with.seeing him on and off from 1999-2001. first time he broke up with me was hard and was ready to move on this was in 1999 then he askes me back out like 3 weeks later i knew i had feelings for him still so i said yes. obviously after another few weeks he broke it off again and that hurt double i felt stupid. it's not over yet another few weeks we ended up back together again but this time we started having sex i loved him and it felt good but then after he broke it off again you think i learned my lesson by now yea right i go so obssessed with him he just kept leading me on i guess he had fun messing with my mind even after he cheated on me few times i kept staying with him like the moron i am. the point is i tried commiting suicide so many times after he broke up with me cause to me i was in love with him couldn't live without him. turns out i have bipolar but even after getting hurt so many times i kept going back to him finally he stopped asking me back i suffered in pain for like 3 years still feel used betrayed i had found a loving man now he treats me right. i still hurt from time to time with what my ex put me through only cause of the times i tried to kill self messed with had cause i took pills each time i did it. i still want revenge on him somehow cause its making it hard for me to trust others.on the other hand i think he could be suffering to cause karma gets to you so why i don't acts on revengeable thoughts. this short story of it cause everything to long to confess and my highschool bf always kept me a secret spoke bad about me which i forgot to add to what i don't understand why i kept going back to him. my new relationship is great 9 years so far im happy in it but why do i still feel pain though i love my new guy?