Seeking Love
Posted Feb 26, 2012 by anonymous | 534 views | 6 comments
I was in love with a man 4 years ago. I had to break it off because I had to leave the college that we both attended. Leaving meant me moving hours away. I am now married to an abusive husband who refuses to support or take care of me. We are currently going thru a divorce. All I can think of is how much my ex took care of me when I was sick and how he loved to cook for me. I screwed up BIG TIME and I regret it. There is no taking this back. I was just too young and lost to think. I only left my love based on a complication.... I never wanted things to end. Look where I am now. I couldnt even find the courage to tell him that I had to leave because I knew it would break his heart. When we broke up, we even had 2 booty calls afterwards. I know neither one of us wanted to leave each other. I feel like I am still attached to him. He is my comfort zone. My parents loved him. He took care of me. I loved his family. I even loved his friends. Everywhere we went was a reminder of my past and always somewhere new. I loved it. I loved him. I will cut to the chase here.... My ex moved here to work about 2 years ago. The one city he told me he would never move to for work. In my heart.... I feel like... something is still there for him as well if he came here. The city where I live! He has a strict rule about assosiating with ex girlfriends but I have emailed him less than 10 times in the last 4 years. No emails back. His friend spoke to me and told me where they were (20 min away... and he made it sound so far!!!!). My ex wont talk to me. I think he is waiting for the day I divorce or he is just done. I know I hurt him. I cant take that back. This will be the hardest mission in the world unless there is someone else better out there for me that hasnt shown up yet?!?!?!?! I screwed up.
Commented Oct 9, 2012 by TS4Bi-FEM
we could be so good,for each other,..... try ME,.. if your interested, answer this message,.. then I'll leave my e-add,
Commented Feb 27, 2012 by anonymous
And our communication is so bad that we are never seeing the same viewpoint. He has his dreams. I have mine. Nothing is ever coming across clear on communication. I am in a mess.
Commented Feb 27, 2012 by anonymous
I dont think he knows what love and affection even is! Or to have someone really care for you! His parents kept controling everything in our relationship and then my husband controlled everything in our relationship. It is a controlling nightmare. I just want out. I want real love. I want what I used to have.....what someone else gave me.
Commented Feb 27, 2012 by anonymous
Try to settle down the things with your husband with a talk. If he is not ready, no need to carry relationship without having love & affection.
Commented Feb 27, 2012 by anonymous
There is someone better out there,..........and she's much better for him.
Commented Feb 26, 2012 by SilentSarrow1
Girl I'm going through it too ! Just stay strong , when your not looking for love it appears in a more beautiful form