This is part 2 of the monster I am. (My 1st confession is below)Since I last wrote, I forgot to mention that I bought a business from my freind which was a recipe for a formula on a cure for snoring for $200 because he needed mney so desperatley. I since sold the business quickly for over $220,000 to a large firm. I didn't tell my freind and I know he is behind on rent and his car payments. My business partner closed a deal for $109,000 a month in our media business and I used my 65% leverage to pay him less than what he should make. I cannot control the horrible things I do anymore or explain why I am doing them. I am a lost soul- nobody can help me. I use and abuse averyone near me. I have a wife, a fiance and 2 serious girlfreinds and I cannot take it anymore. I want to kill myself some days and other days I wake up praising myself for being successful and so dominant over people. The days of feeling guilty and bad about things are becoming shorter and less by the second. I want to make millions of dollars to screw more women and make them fall in love with me just to change my number and never talk to them again. My mother left me when I was 10 and said she didnt love me. I have figured out that is why I hate women so much. I picked up about 8-9 prostitutes this weekend and most just gave me head with no protection but I fucked a few, one was an obvious crackhead and I punched her in the face while we screwed- I never hit a woman before that nite- then I told her I loved her and that I was sorry. I am such a wreck, I know this is so hard to believe to be true but this secret life im living is taking over. I swear this all to be true and if you met me you would think 'this cannot be true' I am a good looking proffessional that has everything going for him but is destine to destroy it. I bashed this guys window out because he was parked in my spot the other night and I gambled $35k away in one night then won it back after 12 hours at the tables. How do I raise a son to not be a monster like me. Im affraid of him more than anything else in the world. ____________________________________________________________________ 'I am a 32 yr old male that got married when I was 19. It was the greatest thing ever and we were going strong for 7 yrs until my wife slowly began losing her sex drive. I thought it was me, I was open and upfront to ask why? should I lose weight (not bad looking or overweight). She would always say, Its not you its me'. So I suggested conseling and she refused....after that going months without sex was the norm. I would beg she would refuse- the times she did- she wasnt into it and was doing it for me... I decided to start my own business and really go after it to concentrate on other things- On a business trip when I was 26 a woman approached me and said she wanted to meet for drinks. I thought about it and I did- never thinking that I could possibly go through with it. She was an older agressive woman and I found myself in her hotel room, excited but still in denial that I could do anything. She goes down on her knees and opens my pants. She blows me and I cannot tell you the emotions running through my body- my attitude was, you did it now- so go all the way...And I took control and threw her on the bed and every time my wife slapped my hand away or said no to me or had a headache came out during sex.. I f'd her all night- she left her number. And I fealt horrible. I didnt know what to do. When I got home I couldnt look into my wife's eyes. She was uknowing though what was happening. I wanted to tell her but didnt. My business called me to go to california a few months later and I would be 20 miles from where this woman was. I called her before I went. When I got there I blew off all my meetings and f'd her all week. I was slowly becoming the monster I am today. The lady fell in love with me and called my wife, I denied everything and changed our number. Since then, Ive slept with over 200 women. Ive had a few seriosu girlfreinds- and one in particular now that I asked to marry me. But Ive had a son who is my life and I will never live without him and neither will my wife. I live in LA now and shes in NYC...I own this company that Ive made almost $1,000,000 last year ad spent it on this double life. (I have homes in both cities) and I fly back to NYC twice a month. It also got to the point where I feel if i do sleep with my wife I feel like Im cheating on the person I love. Make sure you read that last line correctly. Yes, sleeping with my wife feels like cheating to me. I built this business sometimes JUST for this life I lead so I can have offices in both cities. I recently went to Switzerland and slept with 6 women all at the same time. Yes I paid for it. Most recently, my 'fiance' wants children with me. I cant do that because I love my son too much. I also slept with her sister and her sister is mortified that we got drunk and did that. I have 2-4 women I sleep with on occation in each city. Im out of control and I feel like nobody can help. Honesty in this case would not be the best policy. I am going to ride this out for as long as I can. '