I'm 55 and although I've done all the plowing those fertile fields as it were. And no, no babies or unwed mothers were made with the filming of this debauchery. Yes it is hard to stop. That thrill of another woman's touch is intoxicating. I just chatted with another woman recently who's married but looking. Don't know when or if we'll get together but it's a real possibility. Monogamy is much more difficult than I ever expected it to be. But then again maybe that means I'm not with the right woman in the first place. I've heard it said that cheating doesn't happen between two people truly in love. I don't know if there's any truth to that or not.

Similar story here... I'm in my mid 40s, and led a very innocent sexual life and married the girl that I lost my virginity with. Fast forward many many years later, and I kinda went off the deep end with 'sowing my wild oats'... In the last 12 months, I've been with 9 different women... it's been hard to stop but I'm finally slowing down. The temptation is powerful though. I agree with the sentiment that men just tend to be 'wired' to sow their seed, even when they don't think of it in those terms. And yep, honing the skills has been thrilling... But I think men can come to grips with it and be monogamous again.

I would be ok with both of us having our own lovers where sometimes we're together as a group and sometimes not. Semi-open sounds better than just don't ask don't tell to me.

Every action you make is a choice. If you really value your fiancee and your relationship with her you will make a choice that is right and honorable for the both of you. Not just based upon your selfish sexual desires. Also are you seeking counseling from your pastor ('God help me') and praying? If not, dont ask God to help you if you are not willing to submit to his will.

As other posters have said I think you have a higher than average sex drive and maybe you are not cut out for the monogamous life. I would recommend (easier said than done) that you open up about these feelings with your fiance. It sounds like she is pretty open minded, maybe she will be ok with having a semi - open relationship. if you are a reader of the 'Savage Love' column by Dan Savage you will know that there are many different kinds of relationships out there. I know some couples who have a 'what I don't know won't hurt me' policy. Would you be ok with your fiance having an affair?

I dunno. I don't agree that its a permenant thing. I cheated in the past once, and that was that, i didn't like that i was really just contradicting myself, so I made the decision to never cheat again. And I haven't. However, I like being single because of the freedom to meet other people and the possiblity of sex. I have been committed too and I was okay with that - i got cheated on and that's why that 3yr relationship ended, but the point is: its not how someone is wired, its what someone likes to do.

I'm a firm believer that once someone cheats, they will always cheat. It's just the way they are wired. I would never knowingly date a cheater because it's only a matter of time before they do it to you. OTOH, most people that don't cheat have a low sex drive. I fall into that category and it makes me lousy in bed. Sometimes it's just easier to take care of yourself and not deal with the yapping of a nagging GF/Wife.