i lost you at the worst possible time. But considering the endless list of things i lost in 2012 , i guess i should of seen this coming. Boston, reminded me how much I hate being away from you. Im sorry I let Emily move back in. That was borderline retarded. Her tears and sob story was enough to let me have her move back in. i dont know why. I miss you so much, everyday is a reoccurring bad dream, and there isnt an answer or a type of solution to fix this. I missed the drake show, that hurt a little but spending it with you was amazing. And i would miss every other one.(he never goes to tucson) In Boston, you once said "i luv you". Even through text i could feel it threw the words. i texted it back . In our few months together, even a year later i still feel the same way..i love you so much...You come back and all of a sudden you cant say it again. You return and admit the first time was some drunkn mistake you made on a cruise. So comes saint pattys day, and i agree to go drinking with you and your friends, one of which you slept with in the past. I should of put it together than. All these U of A students and rio rico firefighters and of course me. Right than and there i knew being excepted by this crowd is not gonna happen. There gonna take me for a punk. As they did. Your friends bf and your best friend made it more than awkward..( And I dont look anything like the lead singer of Rebelution for the record) That night was amazing after Club Congress. we dont make it another two weeks after that.in june on my birthday you texted and In october for some reason you reach me. We spend another memorable night together and two days later a text saying you cant ask me to wait but your family is having issues and you need to give them alll your time.knowing i would, months later,i text. Minutes later a text saying you hoped i had moved on. Now im a stalker?a weirdo? creepy?i saw u at a football game. That makes me creepy? Your sorority was there and all my boys were there. How the fuck is that weird? Either way i love and miss you beautiful. I fight and train in Tucson az, I shattered my ankle five months ago, i lose a best friend almost every fucking year to some desolate town in AZ, but I keep going... Theres no fight or injury thats ever hurt this bad. And i have been in some wars on the street and in a cage. I can stop the pain from lost matches, and friends that were taken way to soon. In 2012 I lost my job, my home,my dog, my cat, my car, and every friend that has my old phone number. If those were my only struggles i could still hold my head high and smile in the mirror. but i cant anymore. Sam losing you is as close to dead as i ever want to feel at this age. After a long boring story of hurt you would think id give up. but i cant. ill always love you. And im sorry you feel the way u do about me. Take Care