Well.. here goes nothing. I used to be confident, after taking 3 years of bullying, I tried to push them behind me and move on. It was, in my words, "SUPER DUPER". But lately.. I'm thinking bad thoughts again. I can't make it stop. I'm thinking about self-harm, which I know, it so stupid, but I feel like, if it worked for other people, maybe it'll work for me. And if it doesn't, maybe I deserve the pain I get. In fact, I should just kill myself. Everyone would be better off. But I'm catholic, and I'm not THAT stupid, so really, I just want to curl up in my bed, and cut myself off from any ties I have. I just hurt people left and right, and I want to stop. Why am I so sad, you might be thinking? (Or not, this is kinda boring, but y'know, THIS IS FOR MY SOUL, SO I'M GONNA KEEP TALKING) Well, I have about 3 friends in my entire school.. people hate me at my school. I don't exactly know why, but I'm pretty sure it's because I'm annoying.. I'm sorry, I'm perky and psycho in a hyper way, but that's just me. I, for one, find it fun. Anyway, I have friends outside of my school. I have a boyfriend too. But I'm not sure if I made the right choice by dating this boy.. He's a great guy and all, we've been good friends for a few months now. But.. I can't move past this other guy. I know, I know, I sound like a stupid bitch, maybe I am. But either way, I miss him, and I can't get over it. He isn't interested anymore, so there's no point in me going back to him, but I want to for the sake of just being attracted to him, I don't care if there's no mutual feelings, it's just.. blah. Words suck. Moving on, I also feel like.. I'm worthless. My existence on this Earth means nothing, and I'm a nuisance to others. I feel like I shouldn't be here, and I should be gone. I'm hurting, I feel so alone.. and it's probably for the best.