Don't get me wrong - there are lots of things I could complain about: school, my fear of not getting a job, politics, the lack of funny, handsome, non-cheating men out there. But all of that is basically life. Something that can easily be changed and that I'm pretty damn sure 98% of women are furious about is low rise jeans. Where the hell did these monstrocities come from??? It's like Chinese water torture! If you're not a size 2 they look HORRIBLE. Besides that, they're freaking uncomfortable! And this has been going on for YEARS. I own two pairs of jeans. I got both of them at the irregulars shopping outlet. The only jeans I could find in the past 4 years only fit me because they were manufactured wrong! I'm not a big girl by any stretch of the imagination. I'm 5'6' and 125 pounds, but every time I try on a pair of jeans I feel like a dang oager! And it's because these horrifically awful low rise jeans sit right below my love handles and push them up like a bra from Victoria's Secret's Very Sexy collection! That is NOT what jeans are supposed to do. There are a lot of fun, flattering things going on in fashion today. I'm actually a huge fan of the '40s-meets-the-'80s looks out there, with all these fitted dresses cinched with big belts around the waistline. VERY flattering. Suddenly every woman in the world has an hour glass figure. That's great. I've bought a zillion dresses in the last 2 years. But now my one pair of jeans are all frayed at the bottom and the other pair is ripping at the butt. I NEED NEW JEANS! I need them to flatten my love handles and my frankly pretty tiny belly pouch (that I could only get rid of by being anorexic, and no matter how fashion tortures me I refuse to go there). I need jeans that don't make me walk around all day sucking in when I stand up and checking to see if my panties are showing when I sit down! And while we're at it, can we talk about how I'm 5'6' (that's 2' taller than average) and I'm buying jeans that are 'short' (as opposed to 'regular' or 'tall') because otherwise I can't wear flats with them? How about 'shorts' be made for girls who are under 5'4', regulars get made for girls who are 5'4' - 5'7', then we can work from there with 'talls' and 'super talls.' But first things first, People. NO MORE LOW RISE JEANS.