Long story, here goes. I started dating this guy we've been together for two months. (Short period of time for all the drama that this story entails.) I snuck out of my house with him the first week or so we were dating. My step- dad caught me and freaked out. He kicked me out of the house. I moved in with some friends. Everything was happy we were both so happy in a way I got kicked out because I got to move closer to him. Well While living with my girl-friends one of them well she isn't very good with guys. So apparently she told a guy she liked that if he came over to drink with us that I would have sex with him..(She acted like she was me in the text) So he came over me being oblivious to what she had told him earlier I assumed they were going to end up hooking up because I knew she liked him to I agreed to drink with the both of them.. So we all three got drunk. Bla bla. Later that night her and the guy got sick both went to throw up. Meanwhile I passed out on the couch. (Note: I was on my period I know TMI) So I wake up still drunk with this guy on top of me having sex with me I then tell him to "Get the fuck off of me" "I have a boyfriend" he still wouldn't get off me, I'm drifting in and out of being awake and passed out... I remember I started crying and he asked what was wrong and I begged him to get off. And It was like he didn't understand.. So he kept going. One of my other roommates woke up not knowing the story she freaked out and called my boyfriend by this time I guess he passed out on the couch next to me. (I'm still not completely sure) So my boyfriend comes in goes off on the guy, goes off on me for "cheating" when I didn't. So my boyfriend ignores me for a few days then decides he wants to know the whole story I tell him. He gets furious with the guy harassing him through texts. He apologizes for not listening to me. A Few days later my boyfriend comes over on his lunch break shows various signs of cheating. Called me the other girl's name during the time we were having sex. So he confessed he did. He said he did it out of spite because he thought I had cheated on him... So I forgave him. Just recently I found out that when he cheated on me "the one time deal between them" became a relationship, The girl had no idea about me she apologized and broke up with him. He then apologized to me, told me and this girl the same thing. She left. I stayed. Now I'm so afraid he's always cheating. I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. But I may be pregnant with his child. I hope to find out tomorrow. I really love him.. but deep down I know he doesn't love me he just loves the thought of me. I want to have a completely honest conversation with him and ask him... But I'm afraid of the answers I will get. Right now I have a guy that's absolutely sweet and loves me and cares so much about me but I can't bring myself to get "feelings" for this other guy let alone any guy. How am I supposed to leave my boyfriend with the deep feelings I have for him? I'm so hurt. It's like I'm addicted to the misery I'm feeling. :(