I am married, I love my wife more than anything! This statement is the truest statement I have ever or will ever say. She is my all in all, my soul-mate (if one believes in such things), she is everything I could ever ask for want or need. She is more than I deserve. More than a year ago, I had something of an affair, there was no sex, it was mostly a strange friendship. We kissed twice, and there was a little touching, but nothing more than second base (even second base is a stretch). I know why it happened, I work nights a lot, I get bored because there is nothing to do, and I get into mischief online. I also have a bit of a sex addiction, I have sex with my wife regularly (more than a lot of people I know), and I watch porn often, which doesn't help the situation. I also had this feeling of invincibility, I was the opposite of humble, I felt like I could do no wrong. I was feeling particularly randy this one night when I saw that this girl was online. We had been acquaintances, friends of friends, and we started chatting. Then we started meeting for coffee, and then before I knew it, things had gotten way out of hand! Things had gone farther than either of us had ever wanted them to go, considering we didn't really want things to go anywhere. So that was some time ago, I feel guilt and regret almost everyday, which I obviously should. I don't want to be this guy!! I wish I could undo this stupid mistake, but I can't. Who wouldn't like to change something from their past. I have spent everyday since trying to be the greatest man that I can be. I try everyday to make her feel like she is the only woman on the planet, which truth be told she is to me. If she ever found out I don't know what she'd do, I seriously hope she never does. My life without her would be dark, cold, and full of sadness. Her welfare and happiness would be the most important factor in her not knowing. She brightens my days with her brilliant smile, and makes me forget my regret temporarily. Normally I would confess my sins, but I can't this one. I've left it too long, and confessing at this point would only make me feel better (probably wouldn't even do that), and it would ruin her world. If she knew, she would blame herself, and this is in no way her fault. I deserve what I get, she deserves only sunshine and rainbows. Her finding out would only cause her pain and grief, something else my stupidity could be blamed for. Like I said before, she deserves better. She deserves the sun and the moon, and all I gave her was rubbish. However, I have made a personal vow, that I will be the man she needs me to be forever and ever until the end of days. I do actually worship my wife, that's not a lie. She is literally my whole world. And so I will worship her more, if it's possible, I will make her know she is the only woman on this green Earth. If I could turn back time, or erase memories and moments from the history of my life, I would do so gladly, even if it meant augmenting my current future. This is a black spot on my record that will forever remind me that no one is infallible (especially me), that everyone can make a mistake. I have had a very large slice of humble pie, I've hated every bite of it, and will be eating it for a very long time to come. Please don't think I'm a jerk, or a cheater (even if I am). I have never been more sorry for anything in my life, nor I imagine, will I ever be again.