Recently I was diagnosed with Adult ADHD. I always knew there was something wrong because my impulsion and lack of control over my finances are lifelong. I always moved, always changed jobs, never knew what degree I wanted so now I have (4) and Im going for another one. I have two kids who depend on me and I have alot of responsibility yet I try to take on everything but nothing works. Here is my issue: As a single mother I know I have to work twice as hard to take care of my kids, work, and keep a roof over their heads. The problem is I have everything I need in order to make it a reality, but for some stupid reason (adhd? who knows...) I mess things up. I know I have to work, but I dont. I sit down for 15mins and get up and walk away. I have tried to make schedules and that doesnt work. the dishes are always half done, the laundry is always half done, my homework (which at first I was a 4.0 student until I get bored then stop doing tests now Im failing all 4 classes) is never done, there is no structure in my house and now my kids walk all over me because I never follow through as a parent. I am seeking help already, and the doc is trying to get me on the right ADHD medication. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt, but during this "medication balance" bull its driving me crazy. I KNOW all I have to do is work my $14 an hour job which people would kill for. All I do is SIT in a chair. I can work when I want, around my kids schedules, yet I just... wont.... do it!! I sit for 20min and then I loose focus and walk away. I feel like an ungrateful bitch when in this economy, there are many people out there that would KILL for my job, hell any job. All I have to do, is work 4hrs a day, Mon-Fri and my bills are not only paid, but I have money left over. Yet month after month I struggle because I didn't work enough hours, I want to kick my own ass for being so STUPID. My mind knows what I need to do, to be a productive parent, student and employee, but my damn body wont make the connection and ACT on it. I guess the whole point of this confession is that it would be easier if I was totally naive about it, and didnt see things the way I do, but I do SEE what I am doing wrong, and I piss myself off because for some reason I just cant make myself make a change. Medicine or not, I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. "If I met me on the street, I would totally kick my ass for being a idiot"