I'm now a 20 year old married mother. Nothing crazy about me to the untrained eye. I'm not as messed up in the head than when I was younger. At he age of 4 I discovered that "touching myself near where I peed felt good". Soon after that, I became very interested in fully developed women. I would constantly watch the lesbian porn on HBO late at night, after my mom fell asleep, and vigorously rub one out. After a year of that, I started noticing older men. More specifically, older men with facial hair. I was 5 1/2 and my yearning was growing. From the years of 6-8 I had wished for someone to "take advantage" of me. The burning lust was at an all time high. Anytime I could get away with it, I'd touch myself. Even in class under my desk. When I turned 12 I felt like a sex deprived zombie. All I thought about was sex. One day my grandmother tells me that family is visiting from Chicago and that I had to look after my nephew and older cousin. I didn't think much of it. The next morning my grandfather brings by my cousin(16) so I could entertain him while his grandmother went to get her hair done. When I looked at him, the first thing I noticed was his downright adorable smile. I instantly got wet, very shy, and wondered how I'd deal with my problem of being attracted to him. I kept my mind off of it by keeping myself busy with chores. When night came, I had gotten relieved thinking he was going to get picked up. I sent my nephew to take a shower and when I asked my cousin when he was leaving, he said he had asked if he could stay the night. I got worried because it would only be us three since my mom worked 7pm-7am. I forced a smile and asked him what he would like to eat. He leaned in close, my heart pounded hard. He had tried to kiss me but stopped. I sighed with relief as he apologized. I laughed and assured him that it was ok. In that very instant he forced his mouth to mine. The sensation was unbelievable. It eventually lead to him eating me out on the floor before my nephew got out of the shower. At that point, a connection established and we went on to do 69 the next night. He left a few days later and I haven't seen him since.