Almost 4 years together, and I am more confused than ever. He will take me anywhere, help my grandma plant trees, and go to bed with me every night. But he's getting on Craigslist looking for "something discreet". So far his only "discreet" thing he's doing is texting random chicks from across the country. Sometimes it's dirty, sometimes it's nice. I steal his phone when he's not looking so I can see who he's talking to and about what. I'm not threatened by them, because they are so far away, but, what hurts me the most is a text i read on his phone the other day. Basically he was texting a "chick" (which I'm sure since all the pics didn't match up it was probably a creeper) that lived nearby and texting asking for pics. She sent her naughty parts to him and then he sent a picture of me in something scandalous asking if she'd do anything with me. She said yeah. He said he didn't want me to find out yet, so keep it discreet. He said he "isn't the type to cheat" when she asked if they could meet. So... I'm super torn. He goes behind my back to get a cheap thrill over texting and emails... but then says he wouldn't cheat? Or is it that he COULDN'T cheat because I live with him. I bet if I wasn't there, he'd cheat on me. That's what kills me inside. I have zero trust in him. I always get sick to my stomach when I think he's up to something, and I'm always right. He hides his phone from me all the time. I think he may know that I have a clue, so he actually keeps his phone on him, even at night...even if I can't get his phone, I get on his computer and check his email. His yahoo conversations. His facebook. I also can check our verizon account to see what numbers are texting him. This is the shocker right here: I haven't talked to him about it. I haven't asked him why. All because he's stressed. I'm nice enough to have known this before we go on a trip to Vegas, finish out the trip, come back and STILL not mention it. Now work is stressing him out and I'm kind enough to give him space while I'm fucking DYING on the inside. I'd never do this to him. I'd never message another guy like that. I offer myself to him constantly. I'm not too ugly i think... but he'll deny me, then stay up later than me so he can pleasure himself to some random sluts picture... great relationship huh? I'm probably just gonna kill myself.