i'm 17. at 12, my stepfather started molesting me while i slept. he usually stayed up late through the night (still does) and it wasn't unusual for him to come into my room to check up on me. i wasn't sleeping the first night i spotted him. seeing him entering my room, i only pretended to be. he came near to my bed... rearranged the blanket over my body so that i don't get cold. (maybe) he stayed there for couple of minutes... looking down at me in my bed... thinking things through. for i could still feel his aftershave or whatever he uses. then i felt him... removing the blanket... his hands fumbling about for my breasts... he was eager to feel my nipples that night! within the next 30 days or so, he was all over my body. sucking me up and down... fondling me... rubbing me down there... making me climax 3 or 4 times in a row. i couldn't stop him. i wanted to (i still want him to stop!)... but in the contrary, i always kept up with him. Then he started masturbating all over my body... then i started giving him mouth... then he raped me in my bed for the first time! within the next 60 days, he was a regular in my room in the nighttime... having me 3 or 4 times every week! it was his older brother when i turned 14! that summer we (the whole family - mother, stepfather, me and his father) went to his place by the lake for a couple of days. it was a plain-and-simple rape. on the third day, he took me on his boat through the placid lake... we got down on the opposite shore. he just grabbed me, pinning me down on the ground, started rubbing his penis against my vagina. it was my fault again. i gave in. i was moaning... i was (in fact) thrusting back with his strokes! he immediately took it to the next level... he fucked me! my step-granddad moved in with us after a couple of months. he was around 65, i think. he usually stared... all over my body, but never made a move. did i seduce him? that much? because he did not miss to fuck his step-granddaughter on her 15th birthday! NOW! it's a routine-work for me! at night... 3 or 4 times a week... i'm in bed (happily?!) with my stepfather. in the day, whenever both my parents aren't home, his father does me... at least once-a-week! and more to that... my stepfather's older brother visits us almost every month. and he comes to fuck me! my mom is an alcoholic. what should i do? i don't demand that i 'hate' these three men in my life. and i can't say that i 'enjoy' them either... but the strange fact is, i do! particularly the older brother. am i in love with this 41-year-old man? do i love him every time he becomes the most brutal on my body? am i bad?