addicted to cutting & suicide
Posted Dec 3, 2012 by Kayla_98 | 248 views | 0 comments
My Names Kayla, i'm 14 years old ive been cutting for nearly 3 years and attempted suicide more than 15 times some different some are the same ways. although im in love it doesnt seem to distract me. i've been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 10 months. we both cut at the beginning of our relationship, but i didnt want him hurting himself so he promised to stop, so he did. he hasnt cut for 7 months and im proud of him. But i dont know how he did it so easily. ive tried everything possible and im diagnosed with depression but im not 16 yet so i cant get anti depressants. i have anxiety aswell. the reason i started cutting was because my family is abusive whether its physically or verbally. but not only do i cut i bash myself into walls bruising my skin. i punch myself and bash my head into poles. i have a very VERY short temper. ive been molested by strangers on the side of the road. abused and bullied by people at school since year 3. and all of this was because i was the shortest one. right now at 14 im about 145cm tall and still being bullied to this day. there have been times where i just breakdown and have a panic attack and slash my skin until i pass out. but i just dont understand why i wont die!!!! its all i want ! i have basically no friends at all. everything calls me a freak because they saw my cuts.. i dont even know how i survived this long. ive been threatened and mugged. close to being raped on the spot on the side of the road. so i really couldnt care about what happens to me anymore i'll just let it happen. so im thinking after CHRISTMAS........... it might be my time to go.... just thought i'd get that off my chest. considering i have no one to talk to about it and my boyfriend already knows about it. Bye.....
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