1. Okra, grits, and all the buffets (and I swear that is the only type of restaurant here) that cater to the old folks and start serving at 4:00 p.m. By the time reasonable people show up for dinner everything is overcooked and gray and floppy. 2. Lizards, fire ants, giant grasshoppers, recluse spiders and love bugs. I had to stop 5 times on a 3 hour car trip to scrape, scour and scrub love bugs off my windshield. Disgusting. 3. Old people that pull out in front of you or, like the people I came across today, the one that came down the wrong side of the road straight at me or the one that didn't see my brake lights and came flying up behind me and ended up sliding into the grass and barely missing me. They also tend to cluster in the middle of the store aisle and remain totally impervious to the idea that you might want to get by, even when you say 'excuse me'. I know that not all old people are like that, and I know that hopefully, some day I will be one too. Which brings me to number 4. 4. Crime. Florida has the second highest violent crime rate in the country. Every day you here of something horrible happening...an 84 year old woman raped in the middle of the night in her own home, a young girl disappearing on her way to work, a 2 year old disappears from his bed, a female fireighter just vanishes on her way home from a fire. That is a few of the recent stories. There are way too many victims in Florida. 5. Pay scale. My fiance is a college professor and makes just about 1/3 of what he would make if he would wake up and move just about anywhere else in the country. 6. Walmart, Walgreens, Walmart, Walgreens, Walmart, Walgreens. There is one or the other on every corner. 7. Road construction. You can't drive 5 miles in any direction and not run into some serious road construction. Does every road HAVE to be a 4 lane highway? 8. No lilacs in the spring, no mayflowers, no fall foliage, no apple picking, no blueberrying and no cold water lobster. 9. Radio stations. All I can ever find is country music, bible thumping or talk radio. 10. My family isn't here. To any native Floridian that takes offense at this...sorry but I'm homesick. I know, I know...I should just shut up and go home.