why would i even think for a second i wouldn't feel sexual tension... came on this trip, we both are in relationships, and i know you have been with your lady for almost a few years probably, and i've been with my man since september. but being around you so much and us being alone...despite it being completely platonic conversation and you even being distant because you know how to be the good man, makes me want it even more. i do care for my boyfriend...but it's so hard to be in close quarters with someone you used to have a crush on, spending hours in the car together on a long trip and the entirety of a weekend sleeping in the same room, not allowed to do anything. if i was single and you were single i would have flirted like crazy. but i couldn't. i want to so badly but there you are on the fucking couch, sleeping, your shirt slightly coming up because you're a little tipsy and i want nothing more than to fuck the hell out of you because you're so inaccessible. this is probably the closest i've ever come to wanting to cheat on someone, but i know i won't, because it just won't happen. my boyfriend and i have a great relationship, and you and i can hardly talk sometimes because we're not really on the same wavelength. so i know this is just lustful desire. it's terrible because we usually fuck at least 4 times a week at home, so it's something that i crave. and i haven't had it for a few days now, and so because you're the only male i've been around (and because it's been fucking CONSTANT) the last 2 days, i want nothing more than to rip your clothes off and bite your neck. but i have a boyfriend. and you have a girlfriend. and you've had that girlfriend since before i met you. i used to facebook stalk you sometimes before i was dating anyone, secretly hoping i'd get a chance someday. this is the closest i've ever been. and i can't. do. anything. i would never cheat on my boyfriend, i would break up with him before i ever did anything. but the temptation is torturous. it's all lustful. i know it's not helpful to anyone. but i wish for just one night, in the back of my head, i could be a complete utter hedonist with no consequences and we could fuck each other's brains out just so i could get that satisfaction. when i was single i was pretty good at getting who i wanted because i knew how to play the right moves. but this is not where i am anymore, and i'm currently in the best relationship i've ever been in. it was just shitty that i ended up with you for the weekend, hours away from everyone, hours away from the habitual sex i get, that my hormones are raging and that i've always wanted to fuck you anyway. i know eventually this will fade. i got to dance with him, that was fun. but he knows how to handle this. he obviously has a very trusting gf because he has a ton of female friends.. he probably has no idea how wet he makes half the girls he knows, and he's totally inaccessible. hahahah and now he's shifting...i wonder if he'll wake up while i'm writing this about him...weird. okay. anyway. i wish i could say something. i wish i could flirt. but he's cold. he doesn't do anything, and that makes me want it more. because i used to loveeee the game of going after guys i knew weren't sure about me, until i drew them in somehow. and i know it's wrong, yes yes i do, but i suppose this will be a fun fantasy for a while and eventually fade. long confession, but i'm in the middle of nowhere with nobody but this guy and i wish i could do something. but i can't.