(Sorry if my phrasing seems weird, I am not a native English speaker.) I can't figure out what you are thinking. When I ask if you are happy, you always answer yes... But you only say it when ask. Never have you ever told me that you loved me first. I'm tired of hearing "I love you too". I need confirmation; I am not as strong as you believe me to be. And, no, I can't read the mood. You are like an ocean with only small ripples on the surface, but what interests me more are the currents down below. What are you thinking? Here I am feeling weird because I'm the one initiating most things. It's great that you are neither controlling nor the jealous type. That's one of the many things I like about you. My feelings may be too great, too big; I can hardly contain them in this body, a small container of me. Why does my heart ache when I think of you? I am weak to your presence, my mind gets hazy... Are women supposed to feel this way? I may be selfish for asking for greater declarations of love, but it's not material things that I want. Craving the nearness of you I only wish for you to hold me a little bit tighter. Just a little bit. You are the glue that keeps my pieces together. I wrote you songs, brought you small surprises, I cherish you deeply and I never miss a chance to be supportive of you. I know this has helped with your self-esteem; you seem more open than two years ago. The thing is I also lack confidence even though a may not seem that way. I am scared of losing you, I am scared of saying something impulsive and hurting you. I may have a thornier side, but you are the last person I would want to hurt. I'm scared because I care about you. Here I am, crying and writing. Of you I can only write in superlative: greatest, kindest, dearest... Do you feel the same? I have loved before, but I have never fallen this hard for any of them. Heck, I would marry you in a heartbeat. You opened up to me about a lot of thing that you don't mention to others. I feel most loved now than ever before in my life. If I died tomorrow, I would die a happy person. I was thinking about suicide for a long time now, till now it was only my pride that was stopping me from it. Do you remember that night when we were still just friends? I came to a party at your place, freshly broken up with my ex. I drank a whole bottle of vodka, and you know I never drink. I made a fool of myself, I remember everything. Crying alone in a room with a bottle in my hands, all the bad things I tried to suppress came flooding out. He broke something in me, not only my trust and love for people. His touch hurt, he was always too forceful with me and you know how small I am. I still haven't forgiven myself for letting things escalate that far.. He only liked me for my looks, he couldn’t see past my shell. What he did see, he tried to change. He wasn't a bad kid, he just didn't know better. I don't hate him anymore but I was ready to die after I left him. Nowadays... nowadays it's you that keeps me from sinking back into the darkness. You gave me hope. I never thought a relationship could be so civil, so soothing like ours. I feel stronger now than before, but sometimes I still waver. Dying seems so natural, so easy, now someone would even miss me. If I told you these things I'm afraid they would scare you, my love. All I ask of you is to hold me a little tighter, just a little bit.