I never thought that I was a terrible person. But my behavior as of late is just dispicable. I'm 25, professional, well groomed, etc. I have attended a fairly straight laced church for several years and enjoy it. I started to flirt with a woman who went there too. Not a knockout but certainly attractive. On top of that she had a good job, house and seemed to really like me. She's 37, so a bit older than me, but after quite a bit of flirting I finally asked her out and she quickly accepted. So we did the dating thing and she volunteered lots of intimate info about herself. She was a 37 year old virgin, and the most intense experience she had ever had was a boys hand down her pants at 15. At first it didn't seem for real, but I kept listening to her for holes in her story or any other giveaways and finally I realized that she was telling the truth. She insisted that she was planning on remaining a virgin until marriage, and I told her that I supported her. The problem was that I didn't have any desire to stay with her. She was kind of annoying and had a bit of know it all in her. But for whatever reason I didn't break up with her either. The fooling around was getting hotter and more intense all the time and after a couple of months we found ourselves naked against each other. She said that she couldn't have sex with me, but I really pressured her and did the terrible nonsense about "of course I want to marry you" garbage. We had painful, awkward, messy sex. She cried and whined about how much it hurt and after I came in her she rolled up on her side and cried for hours. She was pretty despondent after that. After a couple of weeks I told her I wanted to break up with her. She had a full blown meltdown and kind of stalked me for awhile. After a couple of months she stopped but now is super bitter. She seems so sad and I know it's all my fault. I feel terrible. I took her virginity and used her. I don't feel like that horrible of a guy but I know there's no way to fix it. Is it really this big of a deal? What should I do?