What the hell am I doing?
Posted Sep 23, 2012 by anonymous | 615 views | 9 comments
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I have cheated on him 5 times. Every single time, I feel so terrible and I can't stop thinking about him and wanting to tell him that I'm sorry. 4 hours ago, I met up with someone and did the dirty do.... And I wish I would be stricken dead for it. He's on vacation, and here I am messing around with other guys like I don't want him or love him. I wish I could stop this. If I lost him my world would end, the happiness I have would be torn from me. My life would be in ruins if it were not for him, in fact I would not be alive if I hadn't met that amazing man. I feel like the biggest piece of shit that ever walked the earth, and it's so hard. I am so sorry for what I've done, and I hope to God that I will never do this again. You are EVERYTHING to me and I need to remember that always. I don't even deserve to be forgiven.
Commented Oct 12, 2012 by anonymous
I guess my first question is why didn't u go on vacation with him? But it sounds to me like your lust is stronger than your love for your bf. if you truelly want to change, id suggest counceling. it seems like sex is giving you something you feel like u need, either conciously or subciously, and identifying it might help u overcome your desires.
Commented Sep 24, 2012 by anonymous
It has been said that nearly 80% of people will have cheated in their relationships. That's men and women.
Commented Sep 24, 2012 by anonymous
Exactly! I found out that my wife of 27 years had been having a 5 year affair, and it almost killed me (literally, I was suicidal when I found out). You suck, and should be publicly hung out to dry. Stupid slut! Have the courage to break it up now. Don't drag others through the mud because of your own weaknesses. Bitch...
Commented Sep 24, 2012 by anonymous
You should not cheat with your boyfriend. Maybe you would not get a second person that love you so much.
Commented Sep 23, 2012 by newday55
When I cheated I had no remorse while doing it. My marriage was over in many way. I felt more whole in the arms of strangers than with the woman I was married to. But for you to feel terrible about what you've done and still continue to do it shows there's some kind of inner conflict going on inside you that only a professional can help sort out. Try blogging about it, anonymously of course. Thinking things through certainly helped me. You're on the right track by posting here.
Commented Sep 23, 2012 by anonymous
Counseling would help get to the root of why you keep doing this. I wish you the best.
Commented Sep 23, 2012 by anonymous
maybe you need to realize what you got...im sure your Bf could've provided you the sex, just hope he doesn't find out what you did ...that would be hurtful .I'm not being mean but you ever think about how he feels? What if he slept with another woman but still comes to kiss your lips. :/
Commented Sep 23, 2012 by anonymous
you should just be shot. i would never cheat on a guy. hope you die of stds. he deserves better than you
Commented Sep 23, 2012 by anonymous
maybe a psychologist could help you to understand why you do it