Subject: FW: 2006 Darwin Awards Enjoy some laughter..... Amazing how stupid people are, but there are some good laughs here. 2006 Darwin Awards > > Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. > > Here is the glorious Winner: > > 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot > did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and > tried the trigger again. This time it worked. > > > And now, the Honorable Mentions: > > > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting > machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. > The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look > for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's > claim was approved > > > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had > taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. > > > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the > driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies > The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. > > > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head > wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close > he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. > > > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the > man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, > leaving the $20 bill on the counter The total amount of cash he got from > the drawer: $15. >> (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is >> a crime committed?) > > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that > he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it > over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the > would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor > store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on > videotape. > > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed > her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the > woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. > Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the > car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car > and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, > officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.' > > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't > open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, > frustrated, walked away. > > ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER***** > > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked > on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police > arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor > home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man > admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the > motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to > press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. > > > In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your > friends and family .. unless of course one of these 10 individuals by > chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad > they are distant and hope they remain lost.