I have feelings for my daughter. It might just be lust, or it started out that way, but now I feel that I want a deeper connection. It started a few months ago. One night I had a very intense dream. I was laying on a bed and she came in wearing an open-buttoned t-shirt and just red panties. She straddles me on the bed.... And nothing happens. But I woke up from that dream so horny, and with the most raging boner ever. I masterbated furiously right then and there. Since then I constantly think of that dream and see my daughter not as my daughter, but as a very beautiful woman. I love her hair. I love the color of her eyes. I think she is so pretty. I want to kiss all of those pretty places in her. I want to kiss her face, her lips, her neck, her back, her stomach, her hands, her legs. Fingers. She's got the softest fingers. There is the obvious of course, breasts Though I do not have proof, I think she masturbates. Being as old as she is, I mean, who doesn't? And the thought of her masterbating gets me turned on and causes me to masterbate, generally on a nightly basis. I wish one night she would come out and ask if I need help. I wish she would come in when I'm sleeping and start jerking me off. I wish she would say that she would like some help getting off. I think she also watches porn too. The thought of that sends me through the roof. How I wish she would invite me to watch with her. To do with her the things she sees in these videos. Or say to me "Hey dad, what is a good website to recommend?" I feel these days people are too afraid to teach their kids about sex, and that's why they get so fucked up or end up pregnant at 16. Because they dont know any better. I want to be her teacher. I want to be a caring friend, boyfriend, confidant, lover. I want to sit down with her all day long and talk to her. I want to watch movies with her. I want to lay in bed with her and watch tv, or cuddle. I hate it when she cries. I don't like it when she gets upset. I'm jealous when she talks about other guys. I've tried to drop subtle hints that basically say "Hey, here I am. Come and get me. " And that is the crux of my dilemma. I know it is wrong to feel this way. I know I should not think these thoughts. But I believe evil thoughts do not make an evil man. I will never, ever, act on these impulses. I will never grope her, or lunge at her, or force myself upon her. That is where I can, and will, draw the line. However, if SHE initiates, if she asks, if she wants, then I have no problem doing it. I thought about just confronting her and telling her how I feel, trusting my gut feeling that she's a person who would be capable of processing and understanding why I would feel the way I do. And I have always raised her to not be pressured, but to act under her own decisions. But I think I'm too chicken for a direct confrontation. Rather, I think I would write a note, and at the end I would ask for a decision. To go forward, or not to go forward. If things went good for me, great, I have nothing to worry about. If things do not, then I feel the best way to handle the situation ( as I know my daughter) would be to make her a promise an ultimatum for myself. She likes to borrow my phone from time to time, it works better and has different games on it. If the answer is yes, to go forward, then she asks to borrow my phone, takes it someplace private, and takes two pictures of herself, nude. At some she will Han the phone back to me. Obviously, by her taking the pictures I know the answer, an an ice barrier has been broken. If the answer is no, she asks to borrow my phone, takes it some place private, and takes only one picture of herself, nude. Hands it back to me at some point. Now you may be asking yourself, who on earth, after being asked a question like that by their dad, who is probably freaked out, would take a nude picture of themselves? My reasoning is this. I would get what I want. I fulfill the object of my desire, kinda. While my feelings would be hurt and feel rejected, I would have an object in my possession to take care of the lust side of things. At the same time I would make a promise that I would contain my desire solely to the picture. I would never ask her anything again, or bother her. Everything would be contained to the picture. My ultimatum being that if I break that promise, I castrate myself. Turn myself in to the police. Something. Anything. Whatever she wanted. Over time I would get over it, get rid of the picture. Hopefully she would be able to move on too. Knowing her as I do, I don't think this will totally freak her out. Certainly it is weird, but she will either understand and be interested, or understand and not be interested. I know, you want to call me a horrible person, call me names. Call me a sicko. Sure, fine, whatever. But she's not a child. She's a woman, I am a man. And I could not contain these thoughts anymore. I had to tell someone. This place place isn't called, raw judgement against others, it's called raw confessions.