I married my wife 6 years ago & now I'm a father of 2. I was always an adventurer, my wife was the same, that's why we got along so well. I thought I'd finally found the right girl, after years of relationships where girls would love me for my adventurous spirit, but when I proposed an expedition somewhere they'd want to wash their hair or go shopping or something dreadful like that. My wife also wanted kids & I said I didn't. I made it plain that I would not budge, I have considered the issue for many years & had no desire to have kids. I do not regard myself as even a good father. After much talking it over she agreed & we got married anyway. But apparently getting married caused her to forget to take her contraceptive pill.... Twice! Since then it has been hell. We have no fun any more. We have not had a major trip ever since she got pregnant the first time. I am constantly frustrated & angry. All my friends & fellow explorers have lost touch with me, no longer interested in someone who has no ability to be spontaneous & commit to weeks or months of traveling. I have, a result, no social life at all. What few avenues there are appall & bore me. I mix with people who have no ambition other than what they have invested in their kids. I do not find bake sales & story time at the library interesting one little bit. There is worse. I am self employed & work from home. So the result is I get to look after the kids, my wife works for a major corporation & is out of the house 5 to 6 days a week. My dreams of million dollar income a year are now in tatters as I can no longer put in the time & concentration into building a successful business. It's going backwards instead of forwards. I'd gladly put the kids into day care, but any mention of that raises a firestorm of an argument from my wife. Quite honestly I would gladly see them adopted & if someone came along tomorrow I would sign on the dotted line, but of course it takes my wife's agreement & she never will. Then she comes home moaning that she never has any fun any more, what a tough day she's had & goes to bed early. And how was my day??????? I don't want to get a divorce, especially given the god awful, fem-nazi laws in this country that always crucifies the man no matter what, in my case being lied to twice. I also don't want to screw up the kids, they haven't done anything wrong. But I don't enjoy being a father, I don't want my kids, I want my old life back, the life I had made quite clear I wished to keep & a life I was assured would continue into marriage. I also want back the wife I married, the fun, adventurous girl who would say 'OK' & stuff a suitcase at the drop of a hat. I've had an operation (she doesn't know) to make sure any more “lapses in memory” don't have unwelcome consequences in the future, but the situation I‘m in right now is untenable. I'm already on anti depressants & I often feel like I'm being sucked down a whirlpool. Increasingly I'm less able to hide my frustration. Recently I was told in a store that I must be “so happy” by some woman. I asked why this was & was told, “They are so rewarding.” I asked when the “reward” arrives & was told, “Oh, when they're born”. My response drew a ghastly look, as I told her that all fun & even getting a good night's sleep ended the day the first one was born. And this is the truth. Should I lie to people to protect their feelings? There are plenty who will think me cruel & insensitive. But I am who I am & made it very clear, as I have to all previous fiancés, that I do not want kids. This has caused break ups before & I'm happy with that. But now I find myself exactly in the situation I never wanted to be, lied into parenthood. My dreams of sailing single handed around the world are over. Riding a Russia MiG to the edge of space is something I can no longer afford. Exploring Africa is out of the question. The list goes on. I had a lifetime of adventure until 6 years ago & it is NOT enough. I no longer allow my wife to introduce me to people as an “explorer” as I don't do that any more. She got all upset, but isn't it true? So, what to do? I don't care if you think me self centered (you couldn't be more wrong, by the way) but I'm now trapped in a situation I made clear from the start was not what I wanted & not what I'd be good at (which I am most definitely not). I'd also be interested to hear from other men who've been lied into parenthood as I was. Your turn.