I am a high school graduate. Like most typical high school graduate all the have to worry is which college are they attending or what course are they about to take. Well not for me. You see i'm they youngest in my family and i have a brother who is older than me and a sister. When i'm in high school, he is at college. Years later, after spending almost 2 and a half years later in business school, he decide to drop college simply because that he wanted to follow his friend working as a salesman in an oil company. He said that the pay is very big and that he could repay everything and even help me enter a college of my choice. Little did he know that his "friend" cheated him. His boss told him that he didn't receive an report saying that he (my brother) has been working all those time. So he got fired. That happened when I was still in high school. Now that I've finished high school i was so excited to go college and work hard in hopes that i might change my parents life. But little do i know that my brother had used all the money that was suppose to get me to college also. I felt so heart broken i often cry myself to sleep or not sleep at all thinking about what am i suppose to do with my life. I really pisses my off thinking about his stupid job that he took and the fact that he dropped out just when he is going to graduate in another few months. It also saddens me to see my friends or my schoolmates posting on facebook that they are going to college and how happy they are to go to college. It makes me jealous and envious towards them. Now i'm working in a department store (which soon I will be quitting) because my mum to me too and she also said that she and my dad will figure something out. I've tried to be optimistic but i know that the chances of me going to college are also to nothing. Now i'm clueless with my life. I also can't understand the fact that he (my brother) can wake up every single day and not feeling guilty looking at my parents. Now the only thing that keeps him in the house without my father throwing him out because of he and his major disappointment is my mum. God knows what will happen to him if my mum wasn't there. And apparently it is only my dad who is disappointed, my sister does to. The other day my sister and I was talking about this matter because my sister is the only one who I cant open up and talk about almost everything that happened in my life or my feelings. She to confessed that she wanted to further her studies but she decided to not to because she knew about it long before I knew about this. And she decided not to tell me because it would kill my urge to study hard and do well in my studies. The another week I found out that he said he wanted to marry his current girlfriend and i was like " wow another bullshit talk from him". The only thing that is keeping me talking to him is because that he is my family and blood is always thicker than water isn't it? I may sound like a brat complain and whining just because he doesn't get what he wants but try understanding that what if a thing that is going to change your life is taken away from you and was been used for granted? Wont you be filled with hatred and anger? The reason i'm doing this is because I don't want to talk about this with any of my family or my friends. And i really need to get it of my chest and none of you know me.