I'm married, and I love my wife completely. I've never cheated on her, because that kind of promise is meant to count, and I don't swear an oath that I feel I cannot keep. But for many of the reasons I love her, I love her sister as well. Not the deep, pining, 'our love can never be' bullshit, but honestly. I don't want what's best for either of them, I want them to be able to decide what's best for themselves, and keep their freedom to act on it. There's no way to tell someone you love that you still love them, and their sister, without them thinking the worst, or even just not understanding that it doesn't have to be a bad or complicated thing. I'm not even depressed that I can't have sex with her, since I'm more depressed that I've been completely unaffectionate toward someone I care about, just to make sure that my wife doesn't ever have to worry about whether or not I'll be there for her. Since that isn't going to change any more than they'll suddenly stop being related, I know that they will both be in my life forever, and that's both a wonderful and terrible thing, at the same time. I'm torn up. I can't ever say what I feel because I know what would happen, and I can't think of doing something that would hurt either one of them, because it would hurt them both. I have to be there for them, but it's so fucking hard sometimes. I'm a group bonder, which means that even though I'm not promiscuous, and I live for those I care for, it feels wrong to ignore someone I love in any way. To make matters worse, this girl has had a series of heartbreaks from people who didn't really care about her, and her pain is deafening. If I was ever stupid enough to be anything but a strong brother for her, my wife's pain added to it would probably just kill me outright. I'd implode and die. The worst part is that I myself have had to deal with so many of my own problems, things that sound so much worse than this, that I feel like there should be a solution, but those pains honestly don't matter at all in comparison. Such a simple thing, and so completely unfixable, painful, and frustrating. I mean DAMN IT, I eat raw meat and run barefoot in thunderstorms and play with fire, but when all's said and done, I'm a fucking pansy. I hate this. I just want them both to know how I feel without them losing their damn minds, and I just don't see it happening. For all of you out there in the same boat, I wish you the best of luck and strength.