I was very unpopular in high school. People were nice enough to me in school, but that's where it ended. I was too fat and ugly to have any social life after school. No parties, no dating, nothing. I never really allowed myself to like any girls, because I knew it was hopeless. But then, my sophomore year, I met Anne. She had just moved into town, and had no friends. She was very nice to me, and I thought she was very pretty. So I developed a crush on her. She was a year ahead of me in school. We had some classes together, and I gave her rides home a few times, but I never got up the nerve to ask her out. I didn't want to risk ruining the little bit of friendship I had with her. She graduated and moved away, and the year later, I did the same. For the next ten years, I thought about her every day. Even when I lost weight and started dating, she was on my mind. Even when I got married, I wondered about her and where she ended up. Then, one spring day about five years ago, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get back in contact with her. And I did. We emailed back and forth for about two years, but eventually our emails slowed to a trickle, and I haven't heard from her in three years. So that's it - 20 years since I actually spoke to her in person, 20 years since I got a crush on her. In that time I've got married and had three kids. But still, still, after all of this time, when I have a sex dream, which happens about once a week now, she's the one I'm dreaming about. When I'm having a bad day and need to close my eyes and think of something that cheers me up, I think of driving her home those handful of times in high school. Just her and me in the car for that short amount of time - the closest thing I'll ever know of true bliss. Yes, I love my wife and my children. But it's not the same happiness that comes from thinking her. I thought these feelings would go away eventually. But I'm 35 now, and they are still just as strong as they were when I was 15. Anyway, thank you for reading.