Where do I begin? I suppose the best thing to do at this point is just let loose and let go of all the stress, pain and absolute helplessness I've felt through these last 3 years. My Brother-in-Law was murdered which left my sister absolutely alone, a widow, and with 2 children. One of which she was still pregnant with. I went through a separation, which left me sharing my son his Father who I believe is the true definition of the word "tool". My own Father's health is failing, as he's literally 15 minutes ago was rushed to the Hospital to have further tests conducted resulting from a lengthy illness. In terms of my brother in law's murderer. I feel half of myself screaming "Rot in hell, you son of a bitch. LOOK what you did to my sister. LOOK what you did to my family!" and the other half takes solace in knowing that at some point in time he's going to have to answer for his crimes, and it won't be in a "court of law". But so many emotions. This sickening individual was a PART of our family...that's right. You read that correctly. HE was a friend of the family, before he murdered my brother in law at the end of a knife...in the hallway of their apartment complex. Now that is vicious. A true chameleon. He even held the son of the man he murdered when my brother in law's son, my nephew, was born. And now he sits in the court room, in a neatly pressed suit, charming the lawyers and Judge.... Son of a Bitch....that filthy, fucking son of a bitch. I hate you. I hate you and everything you are. But will I reveal that outside of this forum. No. Because once I am done with releasing this to the wind, I will once more continue on with my life. Satisfied with knowing that even if you get off with murdering my Brother-in-Law, you will find another way to dig your own grave. It's in your nature. And I silently wait to read your obituary while sipping my morning coffee before heading to the park to play with my Niece and Nephew you robbed of their Father. Everything else I deal with silently and composed. You take what happens to you and adjust your life to the change of the cards. It's hard sometimes, but funny enough sometimes it's just that beneficial down the road to have had those changes. What happened to my brother in law was a tragedy. It affected the widow (my sister), and her two children. Lucky enough his son does remember some blurry memories of him reading to him, but his daughter will never know how much her Dad loved her. I remember being over at their house one night while the TV was on, and he was singing to my sister's stomach. She was pregnant at the time. That is an image forever stuck in my head. My sister and her Husband on the couch, and their son playing on the floor...dad singing to the child in the womb. Nothing can ever ease the pain that my family will always feel about that day when we got the call. And nothing will ever give these children back their father. The closest to that is the photographs on the wall and on the shelves, and them asking "Mommy, who is that with you?" Sad indeed.....