We met when i was 14 and you were 15. You had a girlfriend and you told me you liked me. I told you that if you wanted to be with me you had to end it with her. You did the next day and we began our relationship. For 6 months we were happy, in November 2008 I turned 15 In February 2009, I lost my virginity to you. I was deeply in love with you, and it was a beautiful and moving experience that I'll always love you for, you were gentle and loving and made me feel special. And then just 2 days later, I was told that you had slept with your ex girlfriend just a week before taking my virginity. I thought you had also been a Virgin. I confronted you and you admitted it, begging me to take you back, I sobbed my heart out to you down the phone, I shouted, I screamed we both cried. We were young but it was real to us. To me. Eventually, I took you back Then a few months, may 2009 , later we got horrible news, your family were moving. You were going to be moving to the other side of the country. We were distraught. We made fanciful plans of running away together but we never did it. We spent every minute together until then. The day came that you had to go. You snuck away for a few hours to say our goodbyes. We cried together, you kissed me and promised that we would talk every day. We made all kinds of plans that day. You left. I walked home in tears, I cried until I couldn't breathe, I shouted at my family, I threw things, I ran for 4 miles without Caring where I was going. For a few weeks, we kept our promises. We talked every day. Then as you met new people, you stopped answering my calls, my texts went unanswered. We drifted apart At the end of may, I discovered something that would change our lives forever, I was pregnant with our first child. You came to see me for a visit, I told you I was pregnant. You told me to have an abortion. You told me you had met someone else. You told me you didn't love me anymore I decided to keep the baby, and after a few months we got back together, I foolishly took you back, in December 2009 our beautiful little girl was born, premature, she fought hard and after 8 weeks in hospital she was allowed to come home We moved in together when our daughter was 1, you me and our daughter. Things were different, you were oddly different, you spent all day working which was fine, but then you would go straight to the pub from work, you developed a drinking habit, I barely saw you. Our daughter turned 2. Then it started, you would come home from the pub and you would hit me, for anything. And everything. The house wasn't clean enough, I looked ugly, I didn't respect you. You beat me black and blue, I had a cracked eye socket, a cracked jaw, fractured ribs, you stabbed me in the hand, you burned a knife and carved your name into my arms. You gave me bruises and blood. But you never touched our daughter. You adored her, you worshipped her, she was a daddy's girls. You told me if I told anyone you would take her from me. I still loved you. I can't explain why but I did, all I wanted was your love and praise you would have days when you were so so so wonderful and all I wanted was your love. We married, under pressure from your family to wed. I fell pregnant again, and during my pregnancy the truth came out And it all became apparent why you were the way you were. On one of your drunken episodes you told me. You were gay, you had been cheating on me with years having sex with underage boys of 15 and 14 (we are 18 and 19 now) I vomited and cried, I checked your computer. I found hundreds of pictures of men having sex, gay porn videos, conversations with men online about how you wanted them to "fuck your virgin ass" and how you had only ever had oral sex, but you had given anal sex to someone else. I told you I was leaving, I was getting the train to my mothers at the other end of the country's, I was taking our daughter with me. You told me I was going nowhere you beat me until I lost consciousness. I woke up in hospital. And they told me I had lost my baby. When I was allowed home I waited for you to leave for work. When you were gone i packed our things and got a train. I arrived at my mothers black and blue and told her everything, she cried and held me, my dad shouted and threatened. 3 days later you turned up on the doorstep begging for me back and that you loved me. My dad showed you the exit We arranged for you to see our daughter in a contact centre. You were under counselling, you really had changed . Our daughter turned 3 But I didn't take you back. But I still love you. I love you so much. I'll never take you back, but god I love you, no matter what you did and will ever do I know I will always love you I just wish I didn't, because the pain of loving you and not being able to be with you tears me apart, it's been. 8 months, 1 week and 3 days since I left you and the pain hasn't lessened at all, you were my first love, my first kiss, my first everything, and I don't think I will ever stop loving you. Every time I look at my beautiful precious little girl I see you in her smile. I wished it had been different. I love you so much. You are my everything. I love you so much, my broken angel. This is the whole story of me and you.