The night
Posted Dec 13, 2012 by anonymous | 372 views | 4 comments
I lied about being raped to my family when i was 14 to cover up the fact that i had lost my virginity. Now i feel guilty because i told my boyfriend and best friend and i am so caught up in this lie i dont even really know if i lied or not. Like if im just trying to bury it deep down inside me to block it out or not. My doctor said that she had thought it was rape but as i think i remember he never put his penis inside of me (once again bordering insanity with not knowing if im covering up what really happened subconciously or if i am lying about what happened) I feel like im going insane even though no one was hurt in this situation not the guy not anyone but myself at this point. Im lost as to what to think i feel crazy due to my mixed thoughts. I needed to get this off of my chest before it over comes me because im not sure if i should say im lying because i dont even know.
Commented Dec 26, 2012 by anonymous
It's not good to lie about rape because I was raped and its nothing to play around with! You should just tell the truth..
Commented Dec 18, 2012 by anonymous
You've probably ruined someone's life by saying you were raped.
Commented Dec 16, 2012 by anonymous
It certainly sounds like you've suffered some kind of childhood trauma, especially with the selective and uncertain memory. I suffered child sex abuse and have many of the same confused feelings and impressions. It sounds like regardless of what happened, you are dealing with similar fall-out and, frankly, need to take it at face value.I would recommend: The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse [Paperback] Staci Haines (Author). It will help you map out the complex feelings you are experiencing and determine a course of action that works for you. Don't worry about trying to figure out exactly what did or did not happen to you, but work with the emotions that you have now to re-empower yourself and your sexuality. Best of luck.
Commented Dec 14, 2012 by anonymous
You should have to told this thing to your parents.