The Great Cheese Walk
Posted Dec 31, 2013 by anonymous | 343 views | 2 comments
This is less a confession and more a funny story that I'm not allowed to tell. A few years ago, my aunt and uncle / neighbors had this horrible dog that would attack us and our cousins. It only ever once bit hard enough to break skin-- the leg of my cousin Matthew-- but if often barked and growled and snapped at us (we being children). My mother, after it bit Matthew, approached my aunt and told her that the dog had to go, for the sake of the children. "Bill [the husband / uncle] loves that dog. I can't do anything about it. But, if he went missing... well, what can we do?" A few days later, while everyone was out of their house, my mother told my father, "Go fill your pockets with cheese and take care of that beast before he does something worse." And so my father did just that, filling his pockets with cheese and heading over to the house. After checking no one was home, he slowly tempted the beast with the cheese all the way to the back of the woods before shooting the horrible thing. I only found out about this story (having been about five when it happened) recently, when my uncle suggested moving back to next door of us. My father started flipping out (privately) threatening to kill him-- let's just say that keeping a dog that was dangerous to his own wife and children, much less his brother-in-law's children and wife, was the least of his sins. My mother was quick to hush my father's ranting and instead simply told him, "Saying you'll kill him will come back to haunt you. Instead, stay quiet and fill your pockets with cheese."
Commented Jan 2, 2014 by anonymous
The cheese walk is always a fine one.
Commented Jan 1, 2014 by anonymous
LOL