and back too the story. I got up and so did he, we kinda brushed it off and went back to the way were acting before, it started to get cold and I didn't wanna go home yet because my eyes were still bloodshot, so we stayed. and I announced that I was so cold, so he said "I'll keep you warm" and hugged me against the wall, I know it sounds cheesy but I thought it was cute and funny, so we stood there hugging and talking and making each other laugh, things got kinda quiet and he looked into my eyes in such a different way then he usually does and our heads started to get closer very slowly and then we kissed, I just couldn't help it. I knew it was wrong but we've been crushing on each other for awhile but we were always just friends and I was in a relationship. I couldn't stop it, we started kissing more, and our hands were going everywhere, he was feeling my body and my hair and holding my cheeks , and I was doing the same. We both wanted to be doing what we were doing but I couldn't fight this "wrong" feeling in the back of my mind, but I soon forgot for a brief moment, as he pushed me slowly back against the wall and ran his hands along my back and down to my butt, he slowly reached for his belt and undid it, and then he started to take off my pants and I let him. once it was off he pressed his penis against my vagina (not comfortable saying it but idk what else to say) and in that moment I never wanted anyone so badly, feeling his package for the first time surprised me, I never thought it would be that big, and he was trying to put it in while we were standing but it was a little uncomfortable so I whispered in his ear "lay down" and so he did, I got on top of him and he put it in. I never experienced anything that big, (he's the second boy i've done it with) and I liked it so much, it was obvious he was in control as he rocked me back and forth, and then he pulled me gently too the side and got on top of me, he put it back in and as I moaned with pleasure he started going in deeper and harder and I could tell he was enjoying it as much as I was, he slipped his hand inside my shirt and kissed me more as he was feeling my boobs and undoing my bra as I leaned upward, he started squeezing them and rubbing, still while going harder every time. I've never felt so good and passionate and spontaneous like that, Ever. he pulled out just before he finished and I quickly put on my pants and he got up and hugged me and kissed me, I said I had to go because it was late. so he said goodnight and started to leave, but I ran after him and pulled him close again and he hugged me so tight, I whispered in his ear "please don't tell" he said "I won't, Promise. it's a secret" and he kissed me goodnight and I walked home. I felt so shocked at what just happened, I never acted so irresponsibility and childish like that before, I had never done it with anyone besides my boyfriend of two years, I couldn't believe myself, I feel so guilty and I don't know what to do or who to tell anymore, I still see him everyday, he looks at me different. i don't know how? i can't explain it but he looks at me and smiles at me in a way I can't explain . . . I loved that night, but at the same time I want nothing more then to forget it.