My best friend got into an accident on Sunday after dropping me home and I felt kinda guilty because I didn't think on suggesting that he sleep by me. I'm not an impromptu thinker or speaker, I have to plan out everything in my head, I'm not really social, so I guess that's where the problem lies. He fell asleep behind the wheel after working all day and then stopping by the birthday party I was at and was taking me home when it happened. People have told me things happen it's not my fault, he's told me it's not my fault. However I asked a therapist and she just started on this rant that everything wasn't about me. I guess when I asked the question it came off that way, (but I didn't mean too) but my personality is that I over-analyse everything and I guess that's bad. I keep running that morning over and over in my head, thinking what if? He's okay and I'm grateful. But was she really too harsh? (I'll post what I said and what she said down below). WHAT I WROTE: Dear Dr (Therapist) my best friend got into a car accident this morning and I feel that it’s my fault, because if he didn’t have to take me home, he wouldn’t have crashed. The car he was in turned upside down and he was like that for 2 hours before anyone found him. I visited him at the hospital when I got the news and he said it’s not my fault, he thinks that he fell asleep behind the wheel. I’m thinking that I should’ve told him to sleep by me and drive home later in the day. I remember on his way dropping me home, the car was giving trouble and it stalled, so he turned off the engine and went to sleep for a couple of mins, and then restarted the engine. I kept tapping him to keep him awake, I assumed after he dropped me home (with his home just being 2-5 mins away, that he could make it home safely but now he’s in the hospital). How do I deal with this? (He was working from in the afternoon to late at night, and then came to the party I was at and dropped me home, so he was really tired). Even though he’s told me that it’s not my fault, I feel somewhat responsible for not thinking of suggesting that he sleep at my house and drive home later in the day, which would’ve avoided all the panic and worry I had to experience this morning when I got a phone call telling me that he’d been in an accident….he said he can’t really remember anything and he has a habit of pulling over and sleeping if he’s tired, so he said he doesn’t understand why he didn’t do it this time. How do I cope with this? The fear of losing my best friend was a bit too much for me to handle this morning… (he’s in stable condition, currently only with a whip lash and soreness and I thank God, because it could’ve been worse. WHAT SHE WROTE: Everything is not about YOU. Your friend’s accident wasn’t your fault. He fell asleep and wrecked his car. Would you feel better if you had been in the car when he wrecked it? Would you prefer that you had injuries worse than his (like a head injury or a broken neck)? Would you cope better with that? I can understand the initial shock and survivor’s guilt that you experienced, but he’s fine–get over it. Just visit him, help when you can, and be thankful that he is still around to be your friend. As a therapist isn't she suppose to be a bit more gentle than that? Or is it some kind of technique to get me to understand the bigger picture? As I've said, I mentioned nothing about my personality, over-analysing and over-thinking is just me. Are they a bad personality trait to have or are they just bad in this situation? Please tell me.