I've been sleeping with a guy every now and then. It all started after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend two weeks before I been having sex with him. I've been friends with this guy for over 5 years and we kept it a secret from all of our friends. We didn't want anyone to know, we didn't want to date, a relationship or nothing serious. We just wanted to fuck. Its been half a year this been going on and finally the sexual tension was so strong between me and him that everyone figured it out. We were having occasional sex, no strings attached. But, was that true. My close friends questioned my motives of being with him. Did I ever developed feelings for him at all? I lied to them even to my very best friend. I did develop feelings for him during the first two months I was with him. Every night I spent with him from his kiss, touch, hugs, our talks, the cuddling and down to the sex. I kept it a secret from everyone and even him. I'm not sure how he feels about me. I'm to afraid to bring it up and ask. I don't want him to leave. I love our chemistry and the way he fucks me over and over again even til the sun rises. Then, I realized one day the patterns changed. He wasn't fucking me anymore, he began to put more emotions towards it. This is when I realized I need to be careful. I don't want to make a fool out of myself. Half of me believes he's catching feelings too or he doesn't seem to care its just the sex is way to good. I don't want to bring it up, I want him to say something first. How long will that take? I noticed we also took a break at one point for a month. Is that one of the reasons why we don't see each other every week anymore. I'm confused. I don't understand. I want to know what he wants. What were his motives? Does he want me more than just sex? Is that all he wants from me? At the end of the day were still friends and act like we weren't fucking around. But we are and the fucked up part about me I'm secretly waiting and plotting for him to fall in love with me.