Hello to whoever wrote that complaint/confession. I finally made it back to that one, and saw my name mentioned several times, so I read it, of course. Just to clarify things about myself, and your post; I can see it was directed towards Turbo, and I can understand why you might be a little confused about some of the things you wrote. I've been on this website through the whole ordeal with him and Sweetpea, so I do know quite a bit of how everything started and why. First of all, I've never had a romantic interest in Turbo, and I aplogize to him if I made him feel bad because I stated that I thought he was too young or immature for me. I could have worded that better, but I was being accused of being jealous or something, so I didn't bother, and I thought for sure that Sweetpea would stop her tirade of announcing that as much as she possibly could on here. It has nothing to do with his age. He's simply not my type, and I am not really interested in raising more kids, and he has a couple of young girls. He and I were friendly with each other at one time, because he appears to be a nice hard working guy that's raising kids on his own, so I had respect for him. But, he kind of reminded me of a howdy doody type person, and that's definitely not my type. Also, I didn't come on this site looking for friends or lovers, or any of that. I was simply bored one day and decided to respond to an ad I saw in my e-mail about this site. It was strictly entertainment for me, and I liked reading the comments by other posters. I even hid the fact that I was female for a long time, but somebody figured it out. I agree that the posts between Sweetpea and Turbo seemed like a load of non-sense, but I kept my mouth shut for a long time because I liked Turbo as a poster who did try to offer advice to other posters. I was never anything more than cordial to Sweetpea, as she seemed so young to me, and I don't mean her age. When I started on this site, I had a couple of men I was juggling, both of them wealthy, and both of them major pricks. I was afraid to reveal alot of things that were going on with me, because people on here appeared to be so judgemental, and I didn't feel like explaining myself to anyone, so I've used other screen names to post my real life stuff on here, after I saw that some people actually cared about other people, even if they didn't know them personally. I've also had some friends, exes, and my son posting on here, so I've had to be careful that way too. Sweetpea attacked me out of nowhere sometime before I started working for a couple nutcases, and all hell broke loose from that point on, but I was too busy working to spend much time on this site. So, there's been alot of assumptions, and accusations flying around ever since. I think I've posted somewhere along the line that I was seeing the same guy for the last 4 years off and on, and when Chieftain started posting, I actually thought it was him for awhile, because he sounded just like him, but it wasn't him, and I am free to date whoever I want, with or without the 4 year guy, and I never got romantically involved with the other rich bozo who was looking for a playmate. Apparently, I do play hard ball with the big league, and that includes the big boys out there, and Chieftain's attitude attracted me, plus, I could tell he liked to go out and party, and I was into that at the time. So, I flirted with Chieftain a bit, but I know better than to take a 'player' too seriously, and come on, he's in Canada, I'm in Florida. What are the odds of us ever getting together? I don't want to move where it's cold, and he didn't like the states - do that math. I was also going through some other stuff in my life at the time, and drinking my ass off, more often than not, so I became really depressed, and wrote a suicide note on this site under the influence one night. I was highly embarrassed when I came back on here to see what I wrote, but I figured I should take responsibility for my own actions, and it wasn't fair for me to simply disappear and make the people that were actually concerned about me sit and wonder, so I swallowed my pride, and wrote back to anyone who had responded to my post. When I found out that Sweetpea had posted as 'Rain' and told me to go ahead and kill myself, I totally backed away from her, and didn't even bother trying to get her to understand that I was not a threat to her with regards to Turbo. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Geez! If I had read that from her the night I drank all that Jack Daniels, beer, and took all those pills, I probably would have killed myself for real, but I passed out shortly after I wrote what I did. In the meantime, Chieftain did e-mail me, and I figured it was because he felt a sense of moral obligation after my suicide note on this site, like a courtesy e-mail, if you will. So, when he actually wrote again, I was excited, and wanted to share that with Turbo, because I thought he'd appreciate that more than anybody, since he kind of encouraged Chieftain in my direction. If anybody recalls, it was almost impossible to get Turbo's attention for awhile, so I wrote to him where I knew he was posting to Sweetpea... about Chieftain. I was also in a hurry, so I was a little impatient about a response, but regardless, his response didn't show up when and where he said he'd posted it, so I thought somebody was playing with the site in an attempt to control what went where, and I mentioned it. Later, I found out it was because Pheonix was erasing posts she needed to erase, so it did mess the site up at the time. Sweetpea thought it was all about her though, and it wasn't, but there was no way she would believe otherwise. She attacked me, so of course, I stuck up for myself. Who wouldn't? Not only that, but I did have a friend with a psyche degree check out her posts to me, and they concluded there was something wrong with her, but that's neither here, nor there, and I don't have to worry about being approached by her anymore, and I can also state that once again, I don't believe in infidelity, no matter what the circumstances are at home. Get a divorce before you move on, it's only fair to everyone else involved. She hadn't even filed for divorce when she started playing kissy face with Turbo, and I kept my mouth shut over that for a long time too, once again, for the sake of Turbo and his apparent happiness, and to keep the peace for myself on this site. If you meant that I was an older woman, I have to laugh because I have the body of an 18 year old, and I look younger in the face too. If I didn't tell people I was actually 39, they'd never know it. So, basically, Turbo cannot, does not, and will not make me jealous of anything that has to do with Sweetpea, or any other woman he has an interest in. I liked him from his posts, but I don't know him other than that, just like I don't know anybody else on here, except through their posts, or e-mails, or what have you. Chieftain was a nice diversion for me from the man I've been crazy about for a long time, who is not emotionally available to me way too often for my tastes, but who's to say I was looking for a real relationship for the last 4 years? Apparently not, or I would have had one by now. Yes, I'm picky, but I've been hurt enough to justify that. I felt a little pressure from my family at Thanksgiving because they all think I should finally settle down, but I simply didn't want to, or I would have married my ex-fiance' after 7 years with him, and I wouldn't have ended up seeing a man who clearly stated he wasn't ready to settle down either after a marriage of 18 years that ended badly. I wasn't even available for myself, let alone somebody else when I came on this site awhile back, so why would I be jealous of something I didn't want to begin with? So, some time has passed, and I've been staying away from the booze, and the partying like there's no tomorrow. I've quit hanging out with people that are only going to speed up my death, while they're speeding up their own, and I'm trying to do it for myself first, because that's the only way it's going to work for me. So yes, I've settled down after taking a break for a few years or so, but I'm still very selective about who I date, or hang out with, or chat with on a computer, and anybody who's been on this site long enough can totally understand why that's necessary for your own well being sometimes. As I've gained a little more confidence in myself back, I've relaxed on this website with who I talk to, and being myself as well. I learned a long time ago, that people don't like you if you are smart, or have money, or looks, or personality, but at this point and time, I simply don't give a shit who likes me on here, and who doesn't. Although I don't hang out with that guy I used to party my ass off with that I mentioned on here anymore, I liked one of his quotes, 'It's none of my business what other people think of me'. So, I'm trying to live by that, but I did want to set the record straight about me, and what other people may think I feel, or say, or do. I've also found that if I'm confused about something, it's best to ask. I can see whoever posted #20692 is looking for answers, and I can't give you anybody else's answers, but I can give you mine, so I hope you were able to read this.