Rage
Posted Aug 17, 2011 by anonymous | 326 views | 1 comments
You can only take so much BS before it starts doing stuff to you. I'm one of those people that seem really calm on the surface. You'd think that things just rolled off me and didn't bother me. Most people are in shock if I even raise my voice. Inside, it's another story entirely. I hate the way I've mismanaged my life. I hate that I'm forced to work to pay people for the shit they did to me. I don't even own my own life. Every penny I make is owed to one government agency or another. Anything after that is owed to the people that have helped me out. It eats away at me day after day. Death actually looks like a relief to me because it's the only realistic way out of this mess. I'm afraid I'll snap one day and do something tragic to either my friends, family, or myself. Understand that I'm not blaming anyone else, I did this to myself. My lack of education (again my own doing) is where it all starts. At 16, I sentenced myself to a life of indentured servitude. If you are young enough to learn anything, learn this... Partying is fun but education will bring you true happiness. Trying to fuck that pretty girl is a distraction or worse. It seemed SO important at the time but looking back I realize that pussy just bypasses the logic center of your brain and gives the pussy owner direct access to your wallet. It's almost automatic. Fuck that...get an education and you can afford to do what you want. You just have to be strong enough to hold out until you are making the big bucks!
Commented Aug 17, 2011 by anonymous
It sounds like you have had a very hard life. If you know that your present situation is a direct result of your choices, why not try making better choices now so that you can work toward a better future? You sound smart enough. There's always a way. Don't give up. It won't be like this forever. You just need a 'break' that allows you to get ahead.