Sorry it's so long, but I need impartial juges to be brutally honest with me and tell me whether i'm being unreasonable or not. Background info: last week, after his guessing something was up I confessed my love had waned, was not gone, but had waned, and that I wasn't sure how things were going to turn out, but that if he wanted to I would be willing to wait into a month into a schoolyear to see if seeing him everyday again is just what I need to spark up the flame again. we made peace the next day and we actually had a nice night around town later. We agreed we'd give it a try. Since then we've had a couple tense moments where he told me how he felt and I'd accept it and apologize for hurting him. Today we had our first fight since the near-break up. Please tell me if I'm being unreasonable and if I need to be more patient and calm. Extra: I'm turning 17 and he's turning 16. he's also stuck at home since his parents are strict about him hanging out with friends no more than once or twice a week and he lives too far away to go to the mall or other teen hang outs. I think this is making him angstier than usual, since he also has a tendency to think of things he fears when he has a lot of time to himself. Eg: early in the relationship, he'd keep imagining me leaving him for other guys. Alright I'll stop rambling now. here's the convo: Tom: Haro? D: me: sorry D: my friend spilled her water bottle and we had a panic moment cleaning it up Tom: Oh right me: well i zumba'd and then Tom: Youre near computers :P me: i ordered stromboli and showered and then ate the stromboli but i couldn't finish so i gave up up to some friends and then i got my computer out to do homework and i'm currently on 9gag :D Tom: XD Typical evening When i bike to your house Im going to use my sweaty self as an excuse to shower And drag you in :P me: .... uh no XD i won't be allowed anywhere near the bathroom not to mention in it Tom: Wont just your sis be home? xD me: yeah but she doesn't want me having sex Tom: By sex Do you mean She doesnt want me seeing you naked? :P me: yeah XD Tom: Gah you cant do this forever >:( me: watch me. :P Tom: ........ Youre going to drive me insane xD me: ~ Tom: No Dont just put a tilda sign Youre actually going to drive me insane xD me: tilda? Tom: Whatever that symbol is me: .. eh? Tom: The ~ Just Whatever STOP MAKING FUN OF ME >< me: oh alright then i'll just flat out say no sex till I finish my senior year :P Tom: Sure ... You know Im really scared By that time I doubt youll be with me Considering itll be another summer apart And if you are with me I doubt youll want to be ________________________________________ 6 minutes me: ... I don't know what the future will be like but I don't plan to leave your side any time soon Tom: Youve seen with your own eyes What distance does to you And the promises you make to yourself are the hardest ones to keep me: I have seen this that's why I won't make any promises for the future but I know my feelings now and I won't be leaving your side anytime soon Tom: Heh Is that what you thought in the middle of june? me: i was of a different mindset then I want things to work, and I know now that I have to put in effort if I want it to work. Tom: Put in effort? me: talk more if i missed you before instead of embracing that feeling since i knew i wouldn't see you i would try to forget about it so it wouldn't bring me down all day Tom: ............................... me: well I didn't think it was a bad thing then that was my way of coping rather than moping, i'd find ways to distract myself Tom: So basically You bought into some of that "love is above all and will prevail" bullshit .... me: ..... No Tom: The whole fucking summer Ive tried my hardest to find windows of time for us to meet up me: Honey, i'm not saying I didn't want to see you I did want to see you and I was glad when I could see you but when I couldn't see you, rather than mope around the house because I missed you, i'd decided I should find ways to distract myself and enjoy my summer. I can't be sad and mopey everytime i'm not with you for more than a weekend. Tom: And you thought we'd pull through? You know Doing that is an excellent way of getting over someone Not to say I didnt do things to distract myself and enjoy my summer But I did try to maintain a connection me: Yes I did think we would pull through. I'm sorry I didn't know what the distance and that kind of coping would do to me. I don't think of that as a way to get over someone. If all your friends are out for the summer and you have absolutely nothing to do but instead of moping, you decide to find things to distract yourself with does that mean you're trying to get over your friends? Tom: No I meant me: And texting and chatting was reciprocal hun. Tom: When you break up with someone Or If youre rejected Or some shit Distracting yourself is a great way of getting over someone me: Yes that is something you could do then. but Distracting yourself isn't only to get over someone. Tom: Whats your point? It contributes me: You're treating it like I did it on purpose to get over you. I didn't. Tom: I know you didnt to it to forget about me Well Get over me me: you're acting that way though. Tom: Because you did do it to forget about me Right? me: no I did it so I would enjoy my summer Tom: Distracting yourself Forgetting about Wheres the difference? Theyre basically synonymous Alright Im gonna go to bes me: No. they're not. Tom: Bed* One leads to another me: okay not necessarily Tom: Goodnight me: Goodnight Tom Tom: Yes of course there are fucking exceptions And for you It did Didnt it? me: no. what happened to me IS the exception. Tom: You distracted yourself from me Thus causing you to lose interest me: that doesn't always happen when people go on vacation with family and go out of the country and enjoy their time in the bahamas or something Tom: It happened to you me: It happened to me. yes. That does not mean I did it with that purpose in mind. Tom: Why does some hypothetical family matter? Now youre on a completely different plane me: Because, you're saying that distracting yourself means you'll forget someone that that is the rule. I'm disagreeing with your statement. Tom: By saying "not necessarily" You forgot about me Thats all thats relevant me: I'm not denying i forgot about you. ... well no I am. because I didn't forget about you. My love waned, but did not disappear. but. i will not be held guilty, of doing such an action knowing that that would be the probable result. Tom: Well Now im trying to tell you how stupid that was Im trying to tell you Wake the fuck up Im not fucking Prince Charming me: I didn't ask for that, or expect it. You're Tom. I might have fancied going forward into college and maintaining a connection. but even i'm not silly enough to assume we'll marry and grow old together. Tom: But do you recognize that you were stupid? Alright fuck it me: I recognize that I was foolish, but my move made sense then. Tom: I dont need an answer and I sound like a deranged chick Goodnight me: Goodnight Tom Tom: Oh and Is it so hard to let go of your pride? me: No but if I think I made a reasonable move. I will stand by it.