I am the youngest sister of three daughters. Our mother suffered from severe mental disorders. She screams at the walls, self harms right in front of us. We were poor, without a father, without support. We all suffered her abuse, screaming, hitting. My sisters called me spoiled, stupid, clueless. (They don't realize they were the center of attention, the ones that went to the clinic. I never really went after my face rash went away, my pains and problems became redundant. I just kept quiet. They called me spoiled because I kept quiet and out of trouble unlike them.How is that spoiled?)My mom called me stupid. Then my sisters left me behind for boys that treat them like dirt. I was alone, with my insane mother to take care of on my own. Eventually we got evicted from a duplex. Because of her screaming and banging on the walls, making it the 3rd eviction. Through half of my high school life, I lived in 3 different run down hotels. She begged manager after manager after manager to let us stay a bit longer. I woke up one morning to her screaming at the walls,"Why can't I just die?!" while she slapped her head repeatedly. I began to draw waiting for her episode to pass AGAIN. This time, she turned her focus to me, at me. "This is all your fault, my life is ruined because of you, I wish you were never born then I would be happy, I hate you N~~~~~e, I hate you" I isolated myself in the bathroom out of her sight, I cried more than ever. Her apology was taking me to visit my grandmother, although I accepted to get away from her I knew she offered the visit to get away from me. My mother dropped me off at my grandmother's house. My non supportive dad was visiting her, along with one of my sisters. I always hold back my emotions and keep everything to myself because I didn't want to burden others, or be ignored. This time I couldn't, when they asked me what was wrong, tears escaped my grasp. I couldn't live with her anymore, I couldn't bare it anymore. My father called child services and I had to confess. They showed up and took me away from my mother, right in front of her. Despite what my mother said, I felt so bad as I saw her cry. It was court after court from then on. At first I went under my grandmother's care, but that was temporary. My grandmother apologized after giving me up, saying it was because of her arm.(Her arm healed already, and I was old enough to use my own arms.) She lied to me, the reason she gave me up was so she didn't have to deal with my mother's visitations...I became one burden after another... I'm 18, alone, worrying that I carried somewhat of my mother's mental illness, being reminded constantly of the past. When I visit my mother, I wonder if she even remembers any of it. Because now her focus is on me, because despite all she has done and said towards me I'm the only daughter paying her attention. And I'll never forgive my sisters for leaving me alone with her.