that I don't wish I could rewind and NOT invite you into my life. Yes, it would mean that I wouldn't have my youngest child but when I watch you smothering the very soul out of her with her words at the tender age of 6, I can't help but think she would be better off not existing than to grow up with you as her father. You CHOOSE to be unemployed for all but 3 months of the last 6 years under the excuse that you want to be the one to raise her but then turn around and "send her to her room" for HOURS at an end, you deny her friends, socialization and knowledge because of your paranoid beliefs, and you do it all under the guise of a father. YOU ARE NO FATHER, YOU ARE A MONSTER. I despise you with every fiber of my being. The ONLY reason I don't leave your worthless ass is because you have set yourself up to win in any court battle that might take place in the event I try to end our marriage. Yes, Asshole, I do realize this. What you don't realize is that I am documenting EVERYTHING. Your behavior, your emails, your drug use, EVERYTHING. And when the time is right, I'm going to unleash a fury on you the likes you've never seen. Because husband, I no longer love you. I no longer feel anything but disgust when I look at you. Your excuses don't work anymore. I don't believe you will ever get and keep a job, I don't believe you will ever be anything but an disappointment to my children and I. You can not be relied on for anything but pain. Not a day goes by that I don't wish and hope that before I have to do what I know I'm going to do, you just simply cease to exist. I went from loving you more than anyone other than my children, to wishing I was a widow. Someday, you will know how much you've hurt your family, the only people, BY YOUR OWN ADMISSION that are the only people who have ever truly cared for you, including your own parents. You think so highly of yourself, I don't believe for a second that you will care, but I WILL. I will know that you are, without a shadow of a doubt, the biggest mistake I have ever made.