My mom just called me gay, like in a mean and derogatory way. I am an effeminate boy and I am used to being called gay as a joke, but I think my mom just crossed the line when she did that. She said in an obviously sarcastic way "Are you gay? Tell me if you're gay it's fine" then she gets mad listing things that I do that qualifies me as a 'gay' person, like hanging out more with girls instead of boys, and my music interests etc. etc., then she gets irritated screaming "IF YOU'RE GAY COME OUT ALREADY". Of course I didn't just stand there I told her back: "I'm not gay, sorry to disappoint you. So what if I do those things, why do you care? You're getting these useless tattoos and when I ask why do you want them you say the same: why do you care?" that shut her up. Of course I have reasons why I don't behave as "normal straight" boys do, but she had to just assume stuff and emotionally assault me with hurtful words (this isn't the first time she verbally and mentally abused me. The worst thing about this is that she doesn't seem to know that I get hurt from her words) Now I really hate her. She has always been like this, treating me like I'm just a pet just to be fed and taken care of and sent to school. I really can't believe that I'm being bullied by my only parent. She doesn't know but I've been suicidal for almost 2 years now, I don't get too depressed because I have great friends but that's only at school. At home my only escape is the internet and video games I literally have no friends at home. My mom only cares about using me to squeeze money out from my dad who is glad to be rid of her. The only thing that's stopping me from killing myself is that I know that one day, I'll actually be free from her. I am too scared to kill myself because I know that somehow there is a better future for me. I know this sounds cheesy but these recent years in my life has been hell.