I desperately want to tell my story to people I know, but I'm aware that it may come to haunt me in the future, so I'm telling it here anonymously and deliberately omitting details that could identify me I am now 44, wife is 42, mother-in-law is 64, siblings etc. are irrelevant here. We are very religious Jews and I'm very happy with that. In our circle mingling of the sexes of all kinds is very much frowned upon . I fell deeply in love with Mamma, my mother-in-law, the day I first met her and it's only grown since then. My wife is wonderful and special, but she can be silly and giggly and is a little messy and not a great dresser. Mamma is the most classy elegant lady and everything about her is just incredibly tasteful. She had no idea how I felt and neither did anyone else. I jacked off dreaming about her thousands of times and it didn't go further. She was a married woman , completely beyond my reach. Six years ago, after a brief sickness, my father-in-law died. For reasons beyond my understanding she seemed after that to be even more hot and exciting. A year after his death, I did something that I'd never done before. When I knew she was out of town for the night I went to her house (same town as mine) which I have combination to and took one of her fancy jackets that I have a real fetish for, and undressed completely, put on her jacket and jacked off. I was afraid and uncomfortable but did it anyway. It was incredible! After that I did it whenever I could and was addicted! I guess it was bound to happen. 3 months ago,a few days after Sukkos,she went to an out-of-town Chasuna(wedding) but when she got there and waited for a long time for the flight she decided to return home. I didn't hear the house-door open and she came right into her bedroom to take off her shytel(wig). When she saw me she was shocked but for me I thought my world was finished. In a second I saw divorce and disgrace. Mamma softly said to me"Yechiel what's this all about ?". When she saw how whit I was she sat next to me and told me that she would keep it as a secret, as she would never ruin my life, She told me that since her husband's Ptiru (death) she'd seen a lot on the internet and would try and helo me. If people show an interest in my story I'll tell what's been going on since then