For me, growing up was about being me. I wanted to perform. I loved acting and was in lots of plays. I started voice lessons when I was 8 years old and still sing today. I loved to sing and I dreamt of performing for the world. Music was my life. It was all I had. It was my true love. Except while I was growing up, I also did some modeling. My family is a lot like a more normal and appropriate version of the Kardashian family. My dad was a football star in high school and my mom was a hippie is the 60s and 70s. My dad had one daughter in his first marriage and then married my mother and they raised her together along with my sisters and brother and me. My mom's first Daughter is tall, skinny, and smart. My oldest full sister. She is beautiful. And she has the perfect body for modeling. She has small boobs (A cup), small hips, small bone structure, and she's 5'11. My next sister is in love with fashion and again, pretty and smart and skinny. She also has small everything (she's a B cup) and she is 5'10 and has the longest and most beautiful hair I have ever seen. She makes a perfect model. Then my next sister in also tall, but short for my family. She is athletic, skinny, small boobs (A cup), small hips. Everything everyone else has. She is 5'8 and for my family, that was always considered short. She was referred to as the short one in my family for the longest time. My brother is awesome. He is 6'2 and he is skinny and preppy and one of the most fun people in the world to be around. Now, all my sisters have small boobs and they are all 5'8 or above which is the most common height requirement for women's runway. But then we come across me. I am 5'4 and I wear a D cup. My hips are big, so big in fact that I am just as skinny as everyone else in my family but I wear a size 9 in juniors and 6 in womens. I am like the Khloe Kardashian of my family. I am the odd one out. The problem is that all of us girls modeled, but I loved it and it was mostly my thing of being what I like to do. But I had to stop because I was too short for runway and my boobs got too big and my hips got huge and I stopped growing at 5'4 and the title of the short one of the family went to me. Both my parents are tall and I ended up getting stuck with the recessive genes that my grandmother had. I am the recessive child. The one that is different and yes I know that being different can be good, but in my case it stops me from walking the runway and the clothes I dream of wearing look bad on me because I have the wrong body shape for them. So, here is my two confessions. I have struggled with these thoughts of being so different and I've had a hard time socially in life as well. First, I have struggled with Anorexia and never had any kind of treatment for it because no one knows, but my ex-best friend. That has not been a huge struggle, but it is there. My second confession, I like to wear insanely tall heels and clothes that make my boobs look smaller so that I can blend in more with my family, but this makes me feel like crap because I know that i am fighting being different. I have discussed breast reductions with my mother and while most girls wish their boobs were bigger, I wish mine were smaller. I wish my hips were smaller. I wish I were taller like everyone else in my family. I am the one that needs that height and small structure because I am the one that like to model. I know that mentally, I am tearing myself apart, but it is so hard. Some people may say its stupid but I have a large family and being the odd one out can be hard.