Yesterday was my oldest sons birthday and I've known for a long time that he's been attracted to me and wanted to have sex. So when we went shopping last night, I started talking about sex and how his step father does not seem interested in having sex anymore and that I was feeling lonely and he comforted me and gave me a hug and a kiss. It felt amazing to have him hold me. I always thought it was kinda gross that he wanted to have sex with me up until about 4 days ago, when I got on the computer he left his porn up and he had gotten a subscription to some real authentic incest website, and the video he had up was this older lady laying naked on a bed, she had a really hairy vagina, as do I, cause I don't shave. She started playing with herself for a few minutes, and than a guy walks into the camera and he lays down and starts licking the woman's vagina. The woman was moaning Nd talking to the guy asking him if he still felt comfortable doing this, he said yes and grabbed the video and she started giving him a bj. Now this is where I got really turned on and really started thinking about my kid. The guy was saying "oh mom, oh mom I love you so much, I'm cumming!" And shot his cum all over her.face. I couldn't believe it. And it got me super super wet and horny. I was damn surprised because I never have thought about him in this way before, and I felt disgusting but the more I tried to push it down the hornier I got. I didnt know what to do. So that night I went into his room while he was sleeping and I stood right next to.his bed and I started masturbating a few inches away from his head. I finished and it was honestly one of the best feeling orgasms I have ever had. I almost fell ontop of him because my knees almost gave out. So yesterday I finally got the courage to tell him I wanted to have sex with him via text message, and said "Logan, I know you fantasize about sleeping with me, and have for a long time. So for your birthday present, if you want it is in the bathroom right now." I was in the bathroom naked playing with my nipples getting myself ready incase he decided to come in. My name is Stephanie by the way, I'm 6'1 135 lbs. My boobs sag bad and I have pretty long nipples and an unkept pubic region. After a few minutes he opened the door, he had his eyes shut for some reason. He closed the door and turned around and when he actually saw me sitting on the toilet butt naked his jaw dropped and he took his phone out and took about 10 pictures of me. He said" mom thank you so much for this, I love you and ill do anything for you, no matter what it is." I smiled and told him I was really nervous about this and that I felt disgusting for doing this. But that I couldn't help myself and needed to have sex. He told me to close my eyes and relax. Next thing I know my nipple is being sucked on and he was rubbing his hand up and down my thighs, running his fingers through my pubic hair. I almost exploded right than and there. So I stood up and told him to sit down, and I have herpes, so I had to tell him that of course, and what he said next blew me away, I.couldn't believe it. His exact words were "mom, if you had HIV I would still have sex with you. So I don't care if you have any stds, I will gladly dealwith the consequences if it means I get to sleep with you." I said ok good, and he grabbed my butt.cheeks and buried his mouth in my vagina. It felt sooo good, I couldn'. Help but moan his name. Mind you my husband and younger son were 6 feet away from the door this whole time. Made it ten times better for me. He licked me for about fifteen minutes. And that's when he pulled his Dick out of his pants... I had not seen his penis since he was about 8 years old, and oh my god. It is huge. Like ten inches long and 4-5 around. I've never seen one so big before, and god knows I wanted him to put it in me right then and there. But he asked me to give him a bi first because.he.was way to excited and didn't wanna cum fast while we were having sex. So I said ok and got down on my knees and I took his whole Dick down my throat and I started gagging really bad and was about to pull out when he.screamed "I'm cumming mommy" and his whole load went down my throat and somehow I kept it all down. Not five seconds after he came, I was licking his shaft getting all his cum off of it, my younger son nik, opens the door and he sees what were doing and asks wtf we were doing. I slammed the door in his face and just sat against the wall. I was so scared that he caught us and was gonna tell my husband, I didn't really know what to do, so I got up and was going to walk out to talk to my kid about it when Logan grabbed my boobs from behind and bent me over a little bit, he started rubbing his Dick against my pubes trying to find the opening, I was struggling to get away until he pretty forcefully shoved himself as deep as he could into me, I screamed pretty loud because yes it did feel amazing, but it also really really hurt me, because he ripped a whole bunch of my pubes out and my vagina is actually very tight for my age. He than put two fingers in my butt and told me to tell him how much she likes fucking her own son. So I complied and whispered that kinda stuff into his ear. After two or three minutes of just slowly going in and out of me, I came. Like a geyser. Squirted all over his legs and the wall. First time I've ever squirted.We finished up and got cleaned up and I walked out and my kid wouldn't even look at me. Stayed at a friend's last night and won't talk to Logan either. I'm really nervous bout what he's gonna do. Not sure what to do. But I think Logan is hooked on me now because everytime I come out to talk to him he gets up and starts making out with me jamming his hands into my pants. It's happened like 8 times today, I don't know if I should just give in and let him do what he wants with me or call it off. But the more I resist it seems the hotter he gets. Now all I can think about is asking another mother what they did and how their kid reacted after the sex was over. I'll give me email or number to anyone who has.serious input on this please. Thanks for listening